


Beautiful Hangover

by jouannaah



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Drama, High School, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:01:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7666042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jouannaah/pseuds/jouannaah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jackson, a popular boy from this school where Mark was transferring to. What could go wrong? It was not even the first class yet, and yet he did got bullied by Jackson.</p><p>Why is Jackson being so mean to Mark? After Mark rushed to Jackson, Jackson hurted his hand. Is it going to change Jackson's plans for his dream on being a football player? And what happens when Mark gets to the school's football team and becomes the most popular guy in the school?</p><p>After Jackson's friends wanted to stay on Mark's side, Jackson started hanging out in the wrong circles. Even after Jackson continued being a pain in the ass, Mark still was nice to Jackson.</p><p>Why was his anger towards Mark so huge?</p><p>Read to find out!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The cold-hearted one

Jackson  
-  
It was another day of school... So lame. Why couldn't it be summer already? No stress, no worries. But the best of it, no school. Summer... ah what a nice thought. I wanted to feel the sun shining on my face when I look at the sky. Warm weather and rainy days. My favorite.  
I walked down the street to school at 7 o'clock. It was too early for me, for a nocturnal animal, who sleeps during the day and stays up at night. Nope. I can already say that this day isn't going to start off good, if I couldn't get my morning coffee.  
So, heading straight to the nearest coffee place behind the corner, I took my phone from the right pocket of my skinny jeans. I dialed familiar number, the same number I always dial at this time of the day. Jaebum.  
''Hey Jae-man, where you at?'' I said while walking in front of the coffee shop.  
''Hey, yeah I'm coming, just few minutes and I'll be there. Order me the usual, will you?.'' Jaebum said with his hoarse voice.  
''Always.'' As that I ended the call.  
I opened the door and walked inside to the shop and greeted the barista.  
''One americano and one double latte, please.'' I ordered and the barista took the money and gave me the change, but I told him to keep it.  
While the barista went to do his magic to our coffees, I chose the table near the window and took a seat. I sat towards the door, so whenever Jaebum enters, I will notice him.  
Just in few minutes Jaebum entered the shop and saw me and he waved his hand. He walked towards me and sat down next to me. Just when Jaebum sat on the chair, the barista came to bring our coffees. We thanked and he went back to the desk to take new orders.  
''So, did you sleep well?'' Jaebum asked like he was my big brother. Or He kinda was, but not by blood.  
''Mmmh, yeah.'' I nodded, but with the expression of Jaebum's face, he didn't seem like to believe me or my words.  
''Yah, Dongsaeng, you should always have a good night sleep. You'll become ugly.'' Jaebum said while laughing.  
I laughed a bit with the coffee in my hand. I took a sip and swallowed it. Oh man how it tasted good. I felt the caffeine flow in my veins.  
During the time we sat there and drank our coffees, we didn't spare a words. It's not that we didn't have anything to talk about, it was just our ''tradition'' not to talk while drinking our morning coffee. It's the time to gather some strenght to this day.  
We got up after we finished our coffees. We stepped outside of the shop and then stopped in front of the door. I seeked Jaebum's attention.  
''Shall we go by foot? We have still time left before the first class starts.'' I asked while watching the grey sky and the still burning city lights. I liked the weather. I felt like, something good might happen today.  
''Yeah sure, if you want to.'' Jaebum said without hesitating.  
We started walking to the school on the right side of the road. We still didn't spare a word or even a glance. It was normal though. We talked barely these days. But if there was something to talk about, oh boy, we would laugh ourselves to death or the opposite. It depends on what we were talking about. Finally, he opened his mouth.  
''Oh yeah, did you heard that we will have a new student in our class today?'' Jaebum asked with a kind of exciting voice.  
''Is he coming to our first class?'' I asked with my normal voice, like it was nothing. And it was nothing, like I would care. If it would be a girl, it would be much more exciting though.  
''No I don't think so. I heard that he will come after lunch.'' Jaebum said and smiled a little. I saw the smile and I was surprised.  
''Why are you smiling? Do you know him or...?'' I asked while smiling as well. It was kinda weird to see Jaebum smile like that.  
''Or what, what?'' Jaebum asked laughing. He was still smiling.  
''Or did you have an affair with him or something?'' I teased him a little. I knew he wasn't gay or anything, but we just talked like this. Teased each other.  
''What?! Hahahah, you little brat!'' He laughed and took me under his arm and mixed my hair. We had fun.  
Soon we were already at the yard of our school, and we walked inside. I moved my sleeve and glanced at my watch on my right wrist. Just in time. I walked with Jaebum to class and we sat down to our ''signed'' seats, which were in the back of the classroom.  
During the ongoing class, I fell asleep. It wasn't a new thing to me, but this time I saw some kind of a dream. It wasn't a good dream, rather a weird one.  
There was me, Jaebum and my other friends from the school and there was this new guy. He came to this school and messed everything up. He used my weak spots to earn the title that I have. The most popular guy in this school.  
As everyone in this school knows, me and my friends are the most popular people in our school. Not a surprise though. We are the best. A perfect squad. Me, Jaebum and Yugyeom. The unbreakable three musketeers.  
We have been friends with Jaebum since we were born. Our mothers were bestfriends in their childhood. And I think they still are. Just like me and Jaebum. Best friends. Me and Jaebum got to know Yugyeom at preschool. He was so weird but we became very close friends with him since then we have been unbreakable.  
I woke up feeling dizzy about the thought of someone being on a higher place than me. I'm not selfish or anything, but it's just who I am, who I was born to be. I was the leader of our squad, Jaebum was the kind one and Yugyeom was the musician. Not more or not less, we just were perfect like this.  
In our school we have many groups who belong to different categories. There is the bratty girls, which are my favorite, the nerds, the weirdos, the hippies, the hipsters and then the losers who are nobody, uncategorized people. And then us, obviously the best group of all, sporty, sexy and popular.  
How could some guy who knows no-one just to become "the most popular guy"? Haha, why am I even thinking about this? This is just ridiculous! He can never be me.  
The bell rang and everyone got up from their places and ran outside from the classroom while teacher were nagging about the tests that are coming in a few weeks.  
I glanced Jaebum and we got up from our chairs.  
"Is it lunch?" I asked Jaebum and he nodded for an answer.  
"By the way, where is Yugyeom? Is he skipping school again?" I asked Jaebum if he knew something about him. Well, it was normal for him to skip the morning classes.  
I used to skip school too, but my mother scouted about my grades and she told me if I didn't try to upgrade a little, she would cut my bankcard. She already did seize my car. That's why I walked to the school.  
Jaebum didn't know where he was but he said he will call Yugyeom now. So he dialed his number and tried to call him while we went to the schools canteen to get lunch.  
"Hey man, where are you?" Jaebum asked and we sat down to our table, where we always sit.  
"At the school yard, will be there soon." He said and Jaebum told him to hurry up and then he ended the call.  
"He's outside." Jaebum said to me and I nodded.  
"So what do you want to take? I think I will skip the meal but I'll take something from the cafeteria." I said while taking my wallet out of my jackets pocket.  
"Okay, can you take the milk and the biggest bread they have there for me? And for Yugyeom, I guess he wants a soda and a pastry." He said while laughing a little. Oh Yugyeom, he's such a fat ass.  
"Alright, coming up!" I said to Jaebum while I stood up and started walking towards the cafeteria. I saw Yugyeom walking inside and I waved to him. He waved back and went to the table.  
I bought the food and started walking back to Jaebum and Yugyeom. While I was walking there, someone bumped into me and while the other fell to the ground I hit myself to the wall.  
"What the hell man! Watch where you are going, loser!" I shouted to the other and the other got up and apologized.  
"I-I'm so sorry... I didn't see you there. Are you hurt? You did hurt your hand right? I'm so sorry... " He said with his face looking sad and confused. I didn't recognize this person. Maybe he was one of the losers.  
"Fuck off! Are you that gay, you want to throw yourself to my arms or what?" I shouted so loud that the whole canteen were watching us.  
The person was finally quiet. I saw he was turning his head to every voice of laugh in the canteen. He looked very sad and I saw a tear coming up from his eye. He turned around and ran off.  
"Ugh, whatever." I said and picked up the fallen items. I walked to the table.  
"Weren't you too harsh?" Jaebum said with his worried face on.  
"Hey, he bumped into me, he deserved that. Like he were really a gay anyway." I said and sat down to my seat.  
''How would you know? Recording to that reaction I think he might be.'' Yugyeom said while taking a bite from his pastry.  
Was I too harsh? No, I can't be nice. I have to be cold-hearted towards our students, so I could keep the title. And whatever if he was crying? I didn't really care.  
We ate our lunch and talked about how we spent our weekend, despite what happened earlier. When we finished, we left the trashes to the table and went to seek for our classroom. Everyone in the hallway watched us, or tried to look that they weren't. Girls who we passed by, gasped. We could see from their eyes how they admired us. Boys, well, they were boys. Jealousy ran in their veins while their crushes were watching us. Just another normal day at school.  
We arrived to the classroom and our subject was math. Oh how I hated it. But just like every other subject, I will get it over with. Just the passing is the priority now. I just want to ride my car, that's all. I walked to my seat as I sat down, Jaebum sat next to me and Yugyeom sat to the other side of me.  
When I sat down and put my bag on the floor, I felt the pain in my arm.  
''What the...'' I gasped and hold my shoulder with my other hand.  
''Hey, are you okay? What's wrong?'' Jaebum asked right away.  
''Yeah, I'm good.'' I lied, the pain was worse than the pain from the accident at one football game last year. I still took my phone out and decided not to care about the pain. I think it will be better soon.  
Teacher entered the classroom and greeted us and told us to lower the volume of our voices.  
''Good morning students! As you might know, you will be having a new student here today. Come on in!'' She said while she beckoed him to enter the classroom.  
I wasn't paying attention. I was on my phone scrolling through my Facebook page. I was so popular, that every girl in our school did send a friend request to me. Only the pretty ones got accepted, and they all were in a bratty girl group. No losers allowed.  
New student walked in and went next to the teacher. Our teacher told him to introduce himself.  
''Hey... My name is Mark Tuan, and starting from this day I am going to be a part of this class. Please, take care of me and let's be friends.'' He said with his deep voice.  
I stopped what I was doing and I got this weird feeling in me. Why was this voice so familiar? I closed my screen from my phone and put my eyes on the new guy. Wait, wasn't he the-  
''Hey Jacks, look! It's the ''gay'' guy.'' Yugyeom whispered. Yeah, indeed, the gay guy. Of course he had to be a new student. Now it made sense, that's why I didn't recognize him.  
''Mark, you can sit there, next to Jaebum.'' Teacher pointed Jaebum with her finger. Mark thanked the teacher and walked across the room to this seat he was shown to go.  
Mark put his bag to the floor and took out his pencil case and his notebook. He was all prepared to this day.  
''Hi, my name is Jaebum, nice to meet you!'' Jaebum greeted the new student formally. Mark greeted back and shaked hands with him.  
''Let me introduce you to my friends! This is Jackson and the other in the back is Yugyeom.'' Jaebum said with a soft voice of his.  
''Hey, my name is Ma-'' Mark stopped when he recognized me.  
He stared at me like I was a ghost. He rasped a bit and then he continued.  
''Mark.'' He said. I saw how uncomfortable this situation was to him. Should I apologize?  
''So, let's hear what the teacher has to say!'' Jaebum said to cut this awkward situation.  
It worked, for now.


	2. Fuming anger

Mark

-

The class finally ended with a bell ringing loudly. I just had the worst luck ever. Of course that guy had to be my classmate. Is life even fair to me anymore?

Today morning I thought everything will be alright. I will have friends and I will get along with them, but look what happened. This one really arrogant guy was shouthing at me, in front of everyone. This day got its place from the worst day in my life. How am I going to get friends now when everyone thinks that I’m gay?

Love in my opinion isn’t for a man to love woman or other way around. Love can be from man to men and from woman to women. Yeah, I’m gay, so what? I don’t care about the bullies, but that was humiliating. I didn’t do anything ”gay”. It was a pure accident.

At that time when I ran off, I noticed that I came to the library. I went inside and searched for the tiniest corner where no-one would find me. I found a perfect one and I threw my bag against the wall and broke down to the corner. I brusted out in tears and let them fall down on my cheeks.

When my mother told me we are going to live in a new city, I was afraid of a situation like this. This was the reason I cried myself to sleep every night. Here was no-one I knew. Even my relatives didn't live near this city. Just me, my mom and my dad. We had to move here, because my dad got a job from this city. We are not poor but not so rich either. Just normal people with a normal amount of money.

But why I have to go through this? Should I transfer to another school? It would be 20km farther than this school, but who cares. I didn’t want to be treated like this.

”Hey are you okay?” The tall dark haired person asked while standing in front of me. I got frightened a bit because I was there alone just a while ago.

”Uhm, yeah... I-I’m fine.” I said and wiped my tears with my hand.

”Hey, I saw what happened, okay? I don’t think you are fine at all.” He said while he knelt down in front of me.

He was right. I wasn’t okay. I was alone here, crying. I was a joke in this school.

”No, I’m not.” I said and sniffed. I didn’t know who this person was, but he came to help. Came to see if I’m okay, even though he didn’t know me.

”Who would be okay after that? Are you new in here?” He asked kindly.

”Yeah... I transferred today.” I answered.

”I see, well, that wasn’t a good start for your first day.” He chuckled a bit and got up. He gave a hand to help me to get up as well.

”Yeah... Do you know who he is?” I asked curiously. Maybe I wasn’t the only one who he treated like this.

"Of course. Everyone knows him, except the new students like you, who end up getting on the way of Jackson Wang.” He said smiling. He was really cute and it was very thoughtful of him for coming after me, to check on me.

”Thank you, for coming here. I was so scared to move here and now I’m a joke in this school. It indeed was a great start.” I said while looking at my hands which were shaking a bit.

”Hey, it’s alright now! I’m here to protect you, when you are with me, he can’t bully you.” He said while landing a hand to my shoulder. I felt a little itching in my stomach when he touched me.

”What’s your name, redhead?” He asked while trying to seek an eye contact with my eyes.

”Mark. And yours?” I asked while looking at his face.

”My name is JR. Nice to meet you Markie.” He said while twisting my name to a nick name he invented.

"Yah, it’s Mark.” I said while watching him smirking. When he smirked, his teeth appeared from the corners of his lips.

”It’s your new nick name, Markie.” He said after he took me under his arm and we started walking away from the library. He left the hand on my shoulder for a long time. Was this the way how he comforts people?

”Your name is a nick name too, right? Let me know your real name.” I told him so I could invent a new nick name to him and then I could tease him with it.

”Nope, not going to happen. Only few people know my real name. You have to know me more to know my real name.” He told me while smirking. Why did that sound like he was flirting with me? He looked so mysterious.

”Do you know where is your classroom?” He asked me and then he stopped walking. I glanced at him. He didn't look like a korean though.

”No... C-can you help me?” I asked gently and pouted my lips a bit.

”Of course! Let me see that paper of yours.” He said and took the paper from me. He looked so intensive while he was searching the right classroom.

After he knew where the classroom was, he escorted me to there. JR was... Really nice to me. I wonder if he have been this nice to everyone. His light skin and black thick hair were a really good combination. His face was marvelous. Not a single pimple on his face and his skin just shined under the school lights.

He left when the bell rang. He asked me to give him my number so we could hangout sometime. He also told me to call him if I run in to bullies. It was nice to know that I’m not going to be alone in here. It was nice to have a friend.

Then I remembered something. I’m going to attend to the first class, full of people who were in the canteen. I was so nervous that I were shaking a little bit. What if they start to bully me in the classroom? They will be nice there... Don’t worry Mark. JR's words echoed in my head, because he told me that before he left. I took a deep breath and walked in the classroom.

After the class ended, I packed my stuff to my bag. I couldn't believe that this guy was even near me. I don't know why I'm feeling this huge rage inside of me. It's not a normal rage, like I could stop it with hurting him in a physical way. I didn't actually know this feeling. There were rage and

pity mixed together. Did I really pity him? But he was the one who bullied me. Who humiliated me. I should be the one who's angry at him.

I took my bag with me while I was heading to the door.

”Hey Mark, wait!” Jaebum shouted my name and ran after me. I turned around and Jaebum was next to me.

”You want to come with me? I could show you around?” Jaebum asked smile on his face.

”Uhm...” I didn’t know what to do. These were Jackson's friends. I don’t think he would like the thought of me being around his friends. Jaebum saw how I looked at Jackson.

”Don’t worry about Jackson, he have always been like that. And he didn’t mean those words he said earlier.” Jaebum explained quietly, so Jackson wouldn't hear that. I didn’t know what to believe. Or who? Jaebum or JR. Jaebum said Jackson didn't mean those things he said, but JR said that I'm not the one who he treated like this.

”Oh come on! Let’s go!” Jaebum shout and took my arm and took me out of the classroom. I glanced Jackson before stepping out. His face didn’t look very pleased.

Jaebum was really nice to me. He showed me the whole school and more. He told me about himself and when I told about myself, he listened me well. He was a good listener.

-

Jackson

-

Jaebum went to talk to Mark. I heard he said my name, but I didn't hear clearly what they talked about. I was getting curious. Why were they talking about me? Or what even? Soon Jaebum waved to us and took a hand of Mark's. They left the classroom together. What was Jaebum doing with that loser?

Jaebum knew exactly that I didn't like Mark, at all. He still went somewhere with him. It was usual thing to hate someone if your bestfriend hated him. Usually so did Jaebum. I hate many people and he had to hate them too, but what is this shit?

Was Jaebum trying to be friends with him? Did he just want to mess with me or tease me? Mark just really pissed me off. It was just one push, but I still think he is the one of the peasants who belong to somewhere else than near me.

I got up from our tables with Yugyeom and walked outside. It bothered me how Jaebum just left us. Did I felt myself threatened? How even? How Mark could ever be in a place that I'm? The most popular guy in this school and also the captain of our school's football team. How he would even reach this high?

Why am I even thinking about this? I should feel threatened if he would have said something in the canteen, but he just ran away and cried. Such a pussy. And no worries about the football team. I don't think our couch would let gays in.

''You want to have a cigarette?'' Yugyeom asked while he was finding his pack of cigarettes.

''Yeah, sure.'' I answered and we started walking towards our secret place where we always sneaked in to and smoked.

When we got there, Yugyeom gave me one of his cigarettes and he lighted his cigarette first and then he gave me his lighter. I lighted my cigarette and took a deep breath from the cigarette. It was only breathes away that I ended the cigarette and threw it away.

''Wow, someone is in a bad mood.'' Yugyeom said with a smoke coming up from his mouth. Yugyeom usually was the slowest to smoke, because he liked to enjoy it, not to rush it.

I glanced him with a grumpy face. He offered me another cigarette and I took it gladly. I lighted it up and then blew the smoke away.

''You want to talk about it or?'' He asked while he was getting more curious about the reason. Should I tell him? He's my friend an he have been since forever. Maybe I could open myself to him a little.

''It's Mark. He's pissing me off.'' I opened my mouth and took more smoke to my lungs. Yugyeom looked surprised and asked me why.

''Jaebum acts too kind with him. He shouldn't give him even a though that he could be in our group, to be our friend.'' I watched around and then looked at Yugyeom.

''Why? He didn't seem to be so bad for a friend.'' He said calmly. He finished his cigarette and threw it behind him.

''What? Are you joking right now? Wake up! He isn't going to be a part of our group. Never.'' I raised the voice a little bit but it didn't seem to bother Yugyeom.

We went back to the school and we noticed Jaebum and Mark coming up, laughing together. The thought of this guy even being our friend disgusted me. Luckily, it's going to be a dead end for his cinderella story even to begin.

''Hey guys!'' Jaebum said happily. Mark standed next to him queitly since he saw me. Why was he even looking at me like that? No, he was not looking, he stared at me. The rage inside of me started fuming. I just wanted to punch this guy so badly in the face.

''Hey Jaebum, want to skip a class with us?'' I asked him. I think if we would skip the classes, I could talk to Jaebum and tell him not to approach Mark anymore. I think that Mark is a coward and never would skip a class, so we could talk when he isn't around.

I saw Jaebum struggling a little bit. He was thinking if he would leave Mark here alone or be with him in here. Why was he even thinking which one to choose?

''I think I'll stay with Mark. He still needs a tutor to get the to the class and I think we will pick some books for him from the school office.'' Jaebum made his decision and was happy about it, because he liked to help people.

Bell rang, and Jaebum glanced at Mark.

''Shall we go?'' He asked and Mark nod for a answer. Jaebum said bye and waved to us and then he turned around with Mark. Mark waved to us too, but I didn't wave to him. Yugyeom were going to but I told him not to dare to even raise the arm.

''So where should we go?'' Yugyeom asked.

I didn't know. Just, somewhere to release this anger of mine. But I knew just the right place for it.


	3. Why am I thinking about you?

Jackson 

\- 

We called a cab from the school and left. I told Yugyeom that we are going to get some beer, and he agreed right away. I knew he will never say no to beer. Not even at a school night. 

We sat in the cab and there was something that bothered Yugyeom. 

''By the way, why do you want to drink? You said you wanted to have good grades? And I bet this isn't a one way to increase your knowledge in math.'' Yugyeom chuckled. 

I chuckled back and didn't give an answer to him. I wanted to drink because I was angry. But at who? Jaebum, for not coming with us and rather hanging out with Mark, or Mark, just by his appearance? I didn't know. All I knew right now was that I needed beer. And lots of it. 

In our way to my house, we went to the store to get beer and booze. It was only 4pm when we arrived in front of my house. We out of the cab and then I payed the fee. We walked inside to my house and Yugyeom settled down to the sofa. 

I lived alone. My mother moved to China not so long ago because she had and still has business to do there and I had to stay here because of school. I had to finish my studies first and then think about moving to China with my mother. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to move there. I'm a half chinese, but living in Korea is much more nicer. 

I walked to the living room after Yugyeom. He sat to the sofa with the shopping bags on his hands. I threw my jacket to the sofa and sat next to him. 

''You want to play a game first?'' I asked him and suggested the Mortal Kombat. Yugyeom took the challenge and took the joystick and started to play against me. After few hours of playing and drinking a little bit, we decided to just drink. We put the joysticks aside and opened a new cans of beer. 

Playing Mortal Kombat was a great way to release the anger, but I still had this weird feeling in me. Why was I thinking about Mark all the time? Did I really hate him so much? 

After hours of drinking, me and Yugyeom were so fucked up, that we couldn’t sit properly. I noticed that I was talking about Mark and Jaebum all the time. Were they new best friends or something? It has been only one day and he chose him over me, over us! Oh god how I hate him! 

We drinked more and more. Jaebum tried to call many times, but I didn’t answer him. He did send messages too but I was so angry at him that I couldn’t answer him right now. 

When I was laying on the sofa, Yuguyeom got up. 

”I’m going to go to home now, I will take a cab.” He said while he faltered. 

”Let me come with you, I need to go somewhere.” I said while trying to get up. Yugyeom asked where. 

”To show this little piece of shit who I really am. He can't just come here and think he's the king of this place.” I said with my drunken voice. 

”No, no, no, definitely no. You’re now so drunk that you can’t even stand up. You can talk to him tomorrow.” Yugyeom said while trying to prevent me from getting up. 

”I’m going to leave now, so see you tomorrow at school. And don't try anything, okay?” He said while he opened the front door and I waved to him and layed down back to the sofa. He went outside and closed the door. 

''I'm going to wipe you out, Mark Tuan. You will not even last a week.'' I said while closing my eyes and letting the alcohol drag me to sleep. 

\- 

Jaebum 

\- 

I had really great time with Mark for these past few hours. Earlier I introduced the whole school to him and we talked, a lot. I wouldn't believe how much Mark talked about him moving here and having no friends or relatives near this city. 

He looked kind of sad when he told me that. I wasn't sure how to react but I said everything will be okay and I will be his friend. He smiled a bit and we continued talking. I had fun with him. I had been so long since I got along with someone this well, or actually even could be with someone. 

Jackson is my best friend but he still shouldn't decide if I can be with someone or not. I should be the one who decides it. I don't want to annoy him or anything, but Mark seemed so nice. Even though he hates Mark, he should give him a chance. He should even try to be his friend first, before judging him and hating him so ruthlessly. 

When Jackson asked me if I wanted to skip the classes, I did really piss him off by answering no. I kind of wanted to show him that even if he hates someone, I can still be 'that' someone's friend. I really didn't even know why he hated Mark so much. 

So, Jackson and Yugyeom really did skip the classes today. I was sitting next to Mark in class and it was the last class for today. Mark focused intensively on what the teacher was talking about. 

I stared at him. His red hair was glowing in a bit rusty colour and his pale skin matched with it. His focused impression was so cute. 

'Or did you have an affair with him or something?' The sentence echoed in my head. I didn't know Mark before today, but did I already like him? I hadn't liked boys before, but I've always questioned my sexuality. 

It started when I was in 5th grade. I had a girlfriend back then and she once asked why I didn't kiss with her. I said that I didn't know and then she tried to kiss me. I prevented it and then she got really mad and shouted 'Are you gay or something?'. Since then. 

I watched Mark writing notes to his notebook. I couldn't stop staring. Did I had a crush on him? When he came here and talked in front of the class, I seemed to be interested in him. Should I even have a crush on him? What if he isn't even gay? 

Class ended and Mark started packing his stuff to his bag. I stopped staring and took my stuff and got up. I walked outside the classroom with Mark. 

''Are you going home now?'' I asked him curiously. I had something else I would like to ask him too, but it might be too early to ask anything? After all, I have known him only for one day. 

''Yeah, I think so. What you have in mind?'' He asked while looking at me. His dark brown eyes had a little spark. I noticed how he started to smile. Should I ask him hang out with me? 

''I was just thinking if you would like to go somewhere with me. If you have something to do, then it's nothing.'' I said while smiling. 

''Well, actually I don't have anything to do and my mom would like to hear that I have a friend.'' He smiled back at me. Gosh, how cute this guy can be? 

''Okay, then let's go!'' I grapped his wrist and walked out of the school. 

We went to the mall together, after I suggested this one coffee place in there, which is my favourite. We ordered our coffees and got to the table. After Mark sat down, I didn't know what to say or do. 

''Uhm, should we ask someone to hang out with us?'' I asked him and he nod his head a bit nervously. 

''Would you mind if we asked where Jackson is? I would like you two to make up and get along.'' I said while taking my phone from my pocket. 

I saw Mark thinking about what I said. Mark bit his lips and licked them a bit too. 

''Yeah... I think it would be nice.'' Mark said with a low voice. Would it be a good idea? 

''Okay, I will call and ask him.'' I said while dialing Jackson's number to my phone. 

I started calling, but after a while, the call went to voicemail. 

''He didn't answer. Maybe he is in a bathroom or something. I should call Yugyeom.'' I said and dialed Yugyeom's number and started calling. No answer either. 

After a while, after many calls, I got nervous. This is not normal. Usually they answer right away or they call back soon. But now, my calls just went to voicemail. Weird. 

''Should we go to Yugyeom's house, I think they are there, because usually they hang out there.'' I said. 

''I-I don't think it's a good idea for me to come, I should go ho-'' Mark said, but I cut his sentence. 

''No, no! Just come, please. I want you two to get along.'' I said and got up. I drank the rest of the coffee from my cup and then we left the cafe. 

We travelled by the bus to Yugyeom's place and arrived to his front door. I knocked to the door and stepped back a bit. I heard someone shouting inside that she's coming to open the door. It was Yugyeom's mother. 

''Oh hey Jaebum! Looking for Yugyeom?'' She asked while smiling brightly. 

''Yes, I just wanted to know if he's with Jackson here. We were supposed to hang out.'' I said to his mother, but his mother shaked his head. 

''No, they are not here, maybe they went to Jackson's?'' She said suggesting. They might be there. We thanked Yugyeom's mother and we went to the nearest bus stop. 

Mark seemed to be nervous, after I said that we should go to Jackson's place. I tried to call them both again, but still no answer. I was getting a little bit anxious, but I think that they are just playing games and not noticing that I was calling. 

It was late when we arrived to Jackson's place. The lights were turned off. Was he sleeping? We walked to the door and I rang the doorbell. 

''The house is really big and pretty.'' Mark said quietly. I agreed. When I first saw that he's going to move here, I was a little bit jealous, but I wouldn't change anything I have. 

''Why in the hell are they not answering?'' I said angrily. Anxiety was changing to anger. Was he doing this just because I was with Mark? Really childish behavior. 

''Maybe Yugyeom is already at home. And it seems Jackson is sleeping. Why do you worry so much? We can check tomorrow if they are in school, right?'' Mark said with a comforting voice. 

''Yeah, I think so. Jackson wouldn't skip tomorrow's practice, he never does. And tomorrow they check everyone's ability to play in a game. They change the captain if necessary. So, that's why he has to be there.'' 

We started walking towards the bus stop. I was walking queitly and thinking about Jackson. That asshole. Is he doing this on purpose? We arrived to the bus stop and Mark saw a bus coming. 

''I will go to this one, we have a different way to home so...'' Mark said while he was waving to the bus to stop. 

''Yeah, see you tomorrow at school, right?'' I asked. Mark nodded and was preparing to go to the bus. 

''Don't worry, Jackson is fine.'' He said and went to the bus. He sat in the back and waved at me when bus started moving. I waved back. 

It was weird that after Jackson wasn't home or was asleep already, Mark seemed to be stressed out. Was it because of Jackson? 

\- 

I sat on the bus and waved at Jaebum. He seemed to be anxious about Jackson and Yugyeom. I took my phone and my earphones from my pocket. I plugged the wire of my earphones to my phone and I put the earphones to my ears. I opened youtube and searched for a song to listen. 

After I chose the song, I closed the screen of my phone and closed my eyes. I loved listening to music when I'm traveling on the bus at night. It gave atmosphere. 

Something still bothered me. After Jaebum worried about Jackson and Yugyeom, I had this weird feeling in my stomach. What if something had happened to them? My mind gave me a flashback about this morning when I rushed to Jackson and Jackson hurt his hand. 

It has been bothering me the whole day. What if Jackson is in hospital and it's all because of me? My phone noficated about a new message. It was from unknown number. I got ghoosebumps. Is it Jaebum saying that Jackson is in hospital? 

'Hey Markie! It's me, remember?' The text message said. It wasn't from Jaebum. It was from JR. 

'Hey JR, of course I remember. How could I forget that annoying nick name you gave me.' I answered. I was a bit disappointed. I thought it would be Jaebum with news about Jackson and Yugyeom. 

'Haha! Are you at home now? What did you do today? :)' He said with a smiley at the end of the message. 

'I was with Jaebum, he's my classmate. He was really nice to me. We went to the mall after school too.' I answered. It took a while for JR to answer back. 

'I see. Did you hang out with Jackson too?' He said. The text message was a bit stiff. 

'No, actually we tried to find him, but he didn't answer Jaebum's calls and even after we went to his house, he didn't open the door, if he even was there.' I send the text message. 

'Don't hang out with Jackson, you will only get hurt.' He answered right away. I got a little scared. What was he talking about? 

'What are you talking about?' I asked. 

'Good night Markie! See you tomorrow at school.' He answered. He didn't answer my question. What was the reason for him to say that? Has there been something that I don't know about between Jackson and JR? I was curious, but I think I should ask him about it tomorrow at school. 

The bus arrived near to my house, and I got up from the bus. I started walking the rising street towards my home. After a while I was next to my house and then walked to there. I got the keys from my bag and opened the door. I walked inside and saw my parents watching television. 

''Oh hey Mark, where have you been?'' My mother asked me. 

''I was with a friend, his name is Jaebum and he is my classmate.'' I said while smiling. 

''Oh that's great dear! Are you hungry?'' My mother asked and I shaked my head. 

''No, I'm just tired, I will go to sleep now. Good night.'' I said while going to upstairs to my room. 

I threw my bag to the floor and jumped to my bed. I gasped. What a long day. But someone was still in my mind. Why am I thinking of you, Jackson Wang?


	4. The colour black

Mark 

\- 

I woke up when my mother came rushing into my room. 

”Wake up son! Second day of school. Are you excited?” She said with her bright voice. 

"Mooom...” I mumbled with the pillow on my face. 

”Get up! Breakfast is ready to eat.” She said while leaving the room. 

I was so tired. Last night I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about Jackson and Yugyeom. I thought that I will worry myself to death. I hope that they will be at school today. They have to be. 

I got up from the bed and noticed that I slept with my clothes on. 'Great.' I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. After that I watched myself in the mirror and looked at my face. I had dark sircles under my eyes and I looked really pale. I rubbed my eyes with my hands. 

I went outside the bathroom and went to the wardrobe. I chose the clothes which I will wear today and then I put them on. I hope that this will be a good day. If someone dares to get on my face today I swear I'm going to kill someone. 

I went downstairs and saw my mom and dad eating breakfast. I walked to the table and sat down. I gave a kiss on my mother’s cheek and started eating rice and meat. 

”Did you get any sleep? You look really pale. Are you sure you are not sick?” My mother asked me, with the worried face of hers. 

”Yeah, I'm just... a little bit worried about if I'm going to catch up other students in studies.'' I lied, but I really was worried about that too. 

''Oh honey, you will do great! Don't stress over it. And besides, I will take full responsibility about it with your father, after all, it's us who dragged you here.'' My mother said while patting my shoulder. My father gave a bright smile and agreed with mother. It released some of the stress, but I still worried about that arrogant guy. 

I put my glance at a clock on the kitchen wall. Oh crap, I'm going to be late! I took two spoons of food into my mouth and then got up from the table. 

''I'm going to go now, or I'm going to be late.'' I said while running to get my school bag. 

''Honey, wait! I got something for you, to give to your new friend!'' My mother said while rushing to the front door with a plastic bag. 

''What is it?'' I asked curiously while looking inside of the bag. 

''It's home made kimchi and other good food to eat on the lunch!'' My mother said brightly. I smiled and gave her a big kiss on the cheek and then left the house. 

I ran to the bus stop with all my strength. When I approached the bus stop I saw my bus there. 'Fuck.' I pushed myself to the fastest mode and just right in time I got inside of the bus. I put the bus card in front of the machine and it beeped. I went inside and saw someone familiar. 

''Markie! It's you!'' JR said while smiling really happily after seeing me. He waved at me to come sit with him. 

''Hey JR! You have class soon too, right?'' I asked and sat down next to him. 

''Yeah! I saw you running to the bus so fast. Do you live near here?'' He asked me while pointing out of the window. 

''Yeah, with my mom and dad. Did you sleep well?'' I asked him. 

''Kind of, better than usually. I guess you didn't, did something else happen?'' JR asked worryingly. I shook my head for an answer. 

''Okay, then today, you must sleep well, okay?'' He said and smiled at me. He looked handsome. His lips looked a bit pinky red and really soft. He started searching something from his bag. 

''Here! Let's listen to this one song I found yesterday.'' He handed me the other side of the earphones. I took the earphone and put it in my ear. He searched the song and started play it. 

It was a new song from Xia. The song name was Eyes on you. I've heard this in the radio once, but I really did not expect him to listen to this kind of music. It was a good song, but why was I feeling JR's glance on my face? 

I was too afraid to look at him. Soon we were near our school and I pressed the button to stop this bus. I took the earphone off and gave it to JR. 

''Uhm, I-I remembered I need to see a school's counselor... See you later JR!'' I said it fast and then I got up from the bus and ran to the school. 

Why was my heart beating and why were my hands sweating? I went to the counselor's office to get my school books and then I went to prepare for the class. My first class for today was physical education. Today we could choose that what course we want to be in, just a normal excersice or go to a football team. Or actually, we couldn't choose, we have to pass the test if we want to get in the football team. 

I was heading straight to the school's field and I saw Jaebum and Yugyeom there already. 

''Hey you!'' Jaebum said smiling. 

''Hi Jaebum!'' I said. I was searching the field with my eyes if Jackson would be there. 

''So, Yugyeom told me that they drank yesterday with Jackson. He wasn't even aware that I called Jackson, but he didn't even receive calls yesterday because his phone's battery was dead.'' Jaebum explained to me. 

''Ah, I see... So where is he? I mean Jackson. Is he already here?'' I asked curiously while glancing at every guy in this field. Instead of finding Jackson, I found JR. I didn't know that he had physical education too, and in a same group as I do. 

''No, I was about to call him now. But let's go inside first to change our clothes, okay?'' Jaebum said while pointing to the locker room near us. 

I agreed and we went inside the locker room. 

\- 

Jackson 

\- 

'Yah! Jacks, what the hell man! Where are you? Today are the tests, you have to be here! What was you even thinking!' The home phone forwarded the voice mail which judging from the familiar annoying voice, was from Jaebum. 

Last night was a mess. I was so drunk that I was running to the bathroom all night. Luckily, I feel a lot better now. I got up slowly from the sofa, where I fell asleep yesterday, and went to the bathroom. I washed my face and then I went back to the living room. 

Today's tests. I only now remembered that the tests were today. I ran to get my phone and I called to get a cab. After the call, I went to change the clothes, because I wouldn't dare to leave the house if I would wear the same clothes twice. I ran to get my other stuff and then I left the house. 

It was 9:05am and I guess the class have started already. The cab was really fast, because it was already waiting in front of my house. I went inside and I said to the driver to drive to my school and really fast. The cab driver agreed and started to drive. 

I arrived to the school at 9:15am and oh how I ran. This day really was the most important day of my life right now. I can't just miss it, just because I slept too late. While I was coming closer to the field, I saw everyone outside already doing the warm-up. So I wasn't so late after all. 

My coach saw me and yelled at me to go to change the clothes and to be fast. I went to the locker room and I gasped. 'Just in time.' I changed my clothes quickly and then I went back to the field. 

I spotted Jaebum and Yuguyeom already warming-up. But who was this red head next to them? I suddenly felt like throwing up. It was Mark. Why on earth is he here? Don't say that he's here trying to get to the team. Should I warn our coach that he's gay, so then he can't join? I ran among the others and started to warm-up. 

''Okay everyone, settle down and listen up! Today, we are going to do the annual thing such as choosing the new captain and update our football team.'' The coach announced, like he does every year. 

''So, let's start!'' He shouted and gave a mark to us to get on a line. 

I was going to the line and Jaebum followed me and turned me over. 

''Why didn't you answer my calls today and yesterday?'' He asked, with his serious face on. I turned back to keep going forward, but he turned me over again. 

''Can you answer to me? I was worried about you.'' He said and then he crossed his hands. 

''Why is he in here?'' I asked while I glanced at Mark. I watched him contemptuously. 

''He will try to join our team. But that's not important, you have to tell me why you didn't answer.'' Jaebum said while Mark came next to him. 

''Hey Jackson... We tried to find you yesterday, are you alright?'' He said kindly, but it pissed me off more. Why did he come to look for me? 

''Like you care?'' I laughed and turned myself back to the line. 

I heard how Jaebum said to Mark to ignore me and not to care about what I said. Like, are they my parents or something? Why even they were searching for me, I didn't say them to come to find me. 

''Okay, so, we need all the fastest guys to be in our team. We will now test your speed. Two people will compete each other and then the fastest one's get's to be in a team. So, any volunteers?'' The coach asked. 

''Anyone? How about our captain Jackson? Would you show us a lead? Jackson was the fastest guy from our school last year, so if you beat him, you will probably be the new captain.'' The coach said while laughing and looking at me. I got chills. I was kind of scared that if there was someone faster than me, I would lose my place of being the most popular guy in this school. 

I had to take the challenge and I ran to the start line and waited for the volunteer to come up. There seemed to be many applicants to our team. 

''Can I suggest someone?'' JR said with his annoying voice. I so hated this guy. I don't even want to remember what happened between us and how we used to be friends. And now, what is he doing? Trying to sabotage me, again? 

''Today when I was in a bus, this new student Mark, ran to the bus and I think he was really fast.'' He said and pointed Mark out. 'You must be kidding me.' From every student here, he chose this one. 

''Okay then, Mark, come here!'' The coach yelled and he came next to me. 

I glanced at Mark and he looked so innocent. I don't trust this guy at all. He is just trying to get to my place. He looked at me. I turned my head to the coach and then he said to get ready. I wouldn't let this little peasant win me. 

''Ready, set, run!'' The coach yelled through the megaphone and so we started running. 

When we ran, the others cheered on me and I heard this small voice who cheered on Mark. It was Jaebum. I turned my face to see where Mark was. He was a bit behind, but I could feel how he started to come closer. I saw how Mark enjoyed to run. His red hair fluttered when he ran, his dark brown eyes sparkled and his body movements looked like he was a professional. 

Suddenly I felt my leg slip from the moist grass and I fell to the ground and I heard a crack. I yelled from the pain. I noticed that I fell on to this shoulder, which I hurt when Mark rushed to me. 

''JACKSON!'' Jaebum and Yugyeom shouted together with their terrified voice and started run at me. I yelled again. The pain was massive and I couldn't move. I could only shout. Mark saw what happened and then he turned right over and ran to me. 

''Jackson, Jackson are you okay?'' He touched my shoulder and I shouted again. Mark's face looked terrified. Jaebum, Yugyeom and other students came around me, and then the coach knelt next to me. The coach looked at my shoulder. 

''He needs to go to the hospital, someone call the ambulance!'' He shouted with his manly voice and then he asked me if I could move my hand. 

I shouted. I shouted so loud that my eyesight were starting to black out. I couldn't hear or see anything. I felt the pain and then suddenly it was all gone. 

All I saw, felt and heard was now darkness.


	5. Blame on you

Mark 

\- 

On that time I heard a crack, I moved my eyesight to where I heard the sound. I was looking back, and I saw Jackson laying on the ground. He screamed. What happened? 

I immediately changed my direction to Jackson and I started running fast. Was the sound of cracking from Jackson? I saw how I ran faster than ever. In just seconds, I was near Jackson. 

''Jackson, Jackson are you okay?'' I said while I touched his shoulder. He shouted from the pain. I didn't know what to do. I took my hands and put them on Jackson's face. 

''Stay still, it hurts more if you move, please!'' I shouted, but he didn't hear me. He rolled on the ground because his pain was too much for him to handle it. He couldn't stop shouting. I heard Jaebum and Yugyeom running towards us. 

''Mark, did you see what happened?'' Jaebum said out of breath. Jaebum knelt down on Jackson, and so did the coach. The coach looked at Jackson's shoulder and soon he shouted at someone to call the ambulance. 

I was still holding his face in my hands and I saw how his expression started changing. His face was loosing its gesture. 

''Jackson, no! JACKSON YOU HAVE TO STAY WITH ME!'' I shouted to him. I shook his head a bit but his eyes were closing. It caused me to shout his name again and again, but his head loosed its tension. I heard how the ambulance came and drove to the field. 

Ambulance drivers and doctors came running towards us and said us to back up from him. As we did, they went to check on him. 

''Is he going to die?'' I asked terrified from Jaebum. Jaebum hugged me and I heard him crying. 

''He can't... he can't just die from a small fall.'' His voice was unstable. I hugged him tightly and looked at Jackson. 

There he laid, on the ground unconsciously. Jaebum was right, it was just one small fall, how could he die from that? I glanced at the doctors who carried Jackson to the ambulance and then they drove off to the hospital. The coach was coming at us, looking like he has something to say. 

''Hey Jaebum, you should go to the hospital, take your friends with you. I'm going to call Mrs. Wang.'' The coach said and Jaebum agreed. Jaebum told me to come with him. I hesitated a little, but I couldn't let him go alone. 

We ran to the locker room to change our clothes and to get our stuff. After we were ready, Jaebum called the cab for us, and Yugyeom came to the locker room and told us that he will come with us to see Jackson. We went to the school yard together and then we waited for the cab to come. 

When the cab arrived, we gave the destination to the driver and then we drove off from the school yard. I sat near the window and Jaebum sat next to me. 

Jaebum laid his head to my shoulder slowly. I glanced at him, and then I put my hand around him. 

''Everything will be alright. Jackson... He's a strong person, he will be okay.'' I said to him while one tear fell from my eye. 

'If I had not competed with him... He would be alright. Is this all my fault?' I thought in my head. I should not take a race with him. 

Soon we arrived to the hospital, where he was. We got up from the cab and Yugyeom paid the fee and then we started walking towards the hospital's front door. 

Soon, we were at the information desk, and there sat one pretty woman. 

''Hey, how can I help you?'' The woman said and smiled kindly. Jaebum seemed to be very anxious and very worried about Jackson. 

''Hey, uhm, we are trying to find our friend. He got hurt during our football practice in our school. Our couch said that we have to come here, until his mother arrives.'' Yugyeom said to the woman and the woman nodded. 

''He just arrived, you have to wait there.'' She said while pointing to the chairs down the hall. We thanked her and then we went to sit. After we sat to the chairs, Jaebum burst out to tears. 

Yugyeom patted his back and tried to comfort him. Yugyeom looked like his going to cry too. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I was in the condition to not to talk or move, I was devastated. 

The time we waited went too slowly. We didn't talk much, but we went to get coffee together. Jaebum didn't sleep at all, but Yugyeom fell asleep few times. I was kind of worried about Jaebum. He didn't look that he's doing well. After a while, since I checked at the clock for a thousand time, the doctor came towards us. 

”Hello, I’m the doctor Lee Kang Hyun. I guess you are Wang’s friends?” The doctor greeted us and waited for the answer. 

”Yes, we are. Is there any news about Jackson’s condition?” Jaebum said while he stands up. He looked tired. 

”Yes. Jackson’s condition is stable and you may see him now. But...” The doctor said while he started going through his papers which were in his hands. 

”Apparently we had to do a big surgery for his shoulder. We suppose that he had some accident about few days ago where he already did break his shoulder. After today’s accident he broke it more causing him to faint and the need of urgent surgery.” The doctor said. 

Few days ago? My mind was starting to get some memories. I glanced at Jaebum and saw his terrified face. He wanted to say something but he couldn’t open his mouth. 

”Is he still able to play football? I-It’s really important to him to continue playing.” Yugyeom said with his concerned voice. 

“I don’t think that he is able to do that. I’m sorry, but the injuries that he had, were too badly damaged. He may walk normally and do normal things as jog and so, but he can't do any excersices which are going to be harmful to the injuries even they are fully healed.” The doctor said. 

After doctor finished what he said I got into shock and I fell on my knees. When I pumped into Jackson yesterday, his shoulder got hurt by then. My mind was going through these pictures where I saw Jackson's face in pain. I have seen it few times in the classroom, but I didn't think it was that bad. 

Was this all my fault? Did I cause this to Jackson? When I met JR, he told me how important it's for Jackson to play football. If you ask from any student in school about Jackson, they will know him as a football player. He's going to hate me even more now. 

''Mark! Are you okay?'' Jaebum came rushing to me. He tried to lift me up and swiped my hair from my face to see my eyes properly. 

''It's my fault, I pumped into him. It's because of me, that Jackson's never going to play again.'' I said while watching down to the floor. I couldn't believe this. 

''No! It's not, don't think like that.'' Jaebum said and hugged me. I burst into tears. 

''The room is 707. You can go, whenever you are ready.'' The doctor said to Yugyeom and left. Yugyeom thanked the doctor and turned to us. 

''I think it's not the best idea for me to come there.'' I said while I swiped off my tears and let go of Jaebum. Even thought it's my fault that he's in the hospital, I couldn't bear to see him now. 

''No, it's not your fault, please... Come.'' Jaebum said while he took my hand and started to walk. I couldn't resist Jaebum. I must be there for him but I think I still wanted to see Jackson more than I wanted to be there for Jaebum. 

We arrived to the 707's door and Yugyeom knocked. No answer, is he still asleep? We entered the room, and we saw Jackson sleeping tightly. Jaebum walked to the chair and sat down near Jackson. He took his hand and he gasped. 

''You will get better, I promise.'' Jaebum said while he put his hands on to his face. 

We waited for Jackson to wake up. Jaebum got up when his phone rang. It was Mrs Wang and he left the room to talk to her. I glanced at Yugyeom whose stomach made this weird and loud voice. 

''Mind if I go to the canteen? Do you want me to bring you something to eat?'' Yugyeom stand up and asked. 

''No, thanks.'' I answered shortly. I wasn't in a mood to eat anything. After Yugyeom left the room, I was with Jackson alone. I sat down to the chair, where Jaebum sat earlier. 

I felt a lot of guilt. I didn't know what I should say when he wakes up and I hope he won't do that until someone is back here with me. 

After a while I heard a gasp from Jackson and then he moved. I frightened a bit, but then I said his name. 

''Jackson... Hey. How are you feeling?'' I asked quietly and softly. 

He didn't answer. He looked around the room with his tired eyes and then he looked at me. I got this weird feeling while Jackson stared at me for some time. 

''W-why am I here?'' Jackson said while he tried to sit on the bed. I got up from the chair and tried to put him back to lay down. 

''Be careful... You should lay down.'' I said and sat down when Jackson was laying. Jackson stared at me again and was going to say something. 

''What are you even doing here?'' Jackson said contemptuously. He started to sound like he normally does. Mr. Arrogant. 

''I came with Jaebum and Yugyeom, they said-…'' I started explaining but he cut me off quickly. 

''What happened to me and why is my hand feeling weird?'' He started to worry and his voice became angrier and angrier. 

''I think that yesterday when I ran into you and pushed you accidentally to the wall, you got injuries to your shoulder and today at school you broke it more. But now it was worse, and you fainted and you needed a surgery... I think we should wait for the doctor to tell you...'' I said to Jackson and he didn't seem to be very pleased. 

''Tell me what?'' Jackson said while he was getting impatient. 

''Let's just wait for Jaebum and Yugyeom to come, okay?'' I asked nervously and looked at the door wishing someone would come to the room. 

''I want to know, now.'' Jackson said loudly and looked in to my eyes, he looked scary while he did that. 

''The doctor said that your injuries were too badly damaged that you... you can't play football anymore.'' I said while I looked down to my hands and then I looked back at Jackson. 

His expression changed from angry, to sad and terrified. He kept quiet a long time, I was starting to feel awkward while I sat there. His eyes started to get wet and soon his tears fell to his cheeks. 

''I-I'm sorry, I should have watched where I was going back then, It's totally my fault-…'' I said while mumbling. Jackson turned his head at me and his expression changed again. 

''Yes, indeed, It's YOUR fault! If you wouldn't come here, everything would be okay, and I would continue to play football and fulfill my dreams as a football player. It's all you. YOU DID THIS TO ME!'' Jackson shouted at me. He looked so angry that I got frightened. 

''I-I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose, I-…'' I tried to calm him down but he cut me off again. 

''What are you even doing in here? You are not my friend. Get out you piece of shit!'' He shouted at me and ripped the pipes off from his hands and tried to stand up from his bed. 

''Jackson, don't!'' I shouted at him, but he didn't listen to me. I got up from my chair and rushed towards him. 

Jackson pushed me off from him and then he shouted at me to get away. Soon Jackson's feet were feeble and then he slipped. He almost hit the floor but I were able to catch him. I held him on the floor tightly so he wouldn't hurt himself. 

''What are you doing? Let me go, asshole!'' He tried to struggle and he hit my hands to get away. I still didn't let him go. 

''Don't you dare to touch me like this! Let me go, you faggot!'' He shouted again at me and then he hit his head to my face. It hit mostly the area of my mouth and it hurt. 

''What the hell is happening in here?'' Jaebum shouted when he entered the room with Yugyeom. They ran to separate us. 

''Get this faggot out of my room!'' Jackson shouted and struggled in Yugyeom's hands. Jaebum tried to help me to get on my feet. 

I couldn’t believe that he could say things like that to me. Does he hate gays that much? Even though it doesn’t matter that he calls me gay, because I’m okay with it, but how does he even know? I haven’t done anything gay that he would notice it. 

''Yugyeom stay here, I will go out with Mark.'' Jaebum said to Yugyeom and then he agreed. Yugyeom helped Jackson to get him back to bed and then he pushed the button to call the doctors. 

We went out of the room and then we sat down to the nearest chairs we could find. After we sat down, I was speechless. 

I only thought how after one day, I made the biggest enemy from my school. He was like a big bad wolf, who's going to huff and puff me away. I ruined his life, I guess I deserve to be blown far away from here.


	6. Solo ride

Mark 

\- 

Me and Jaebum just sat on the chairs near Jackson's hospital room. Jaebum was speaking on the phone with Jackson's mother. She was now on the straight flight back to Korea, and she was going to be here already after two hours. 

After Jaebum ended the call, he came back to sit next to me and he put his phone back to his pocket. 

''Are you hungry? Do you want to go to eat, or do you want to go home?'' He asked me. I didn't feel the hunger or the need of sleep. I kind of wanted to stay. Jaebum looked at me for a while because I didn't give him an answer. 

''Or do you want to stay until Jackson's mother is here?'' He asked and patted me on my shoulder. 

Jackson's mother, Mrs. Wang. I bet she is going to hate me too after hearing what I've done to her son. Maybe they will accuse me for abuse and then I will go to the jail. Is it my life's purpose? 

I nodded for an answer. Even though I might go to jail, I still want to apologize from his mother too. It's an only thing I can do, It's my duty for now. 

''Okay. You want to pick up some food from the canteen?'' Jaebum asked while he got up and then he reached my hand to pick me up from the chair. I have noticed that he really likes to grab my hand. 

\- 

Jackson 

\- 

I woke up from my bed in the hospital. I opened my eyes slowly and took a heavy breath and only thing I remembered was how I attacked Mark because I was so angry at him. He can't just think that he's my friend and then he could come here and act that he's worried about me. 

The anger almost got me on its possession, but then I heard a sweet familiar voice coming from my left side. 

''Oh Jackson dear! You're awake, what a relief.'' She said while she tried to release her concern. Only a one word, and I knew who she was. Of course I knew, how could I not recognize my own mother? 

I turned my face to her and then I smiled a bit. I haven't seen her in a while, and her concern towards me was rare. And then I remembered why I was in the hospital. 

''Oh Jackson... I heard about what happened from your doctors. I'm so sorry honey, I know how much it meant to you.'' She said with her comforting voice. 

If I was honest, she actually hated that I played football. She wanted me to be educated, smart and prepared to manage the family's company after she retires. But I wasn't like that. Since I was a kid, I loved to be outside with my friends and play football the whole day. It wasn't only a hobby, it was my life. 

So easily, this dream was ruined and I could only dream about it, not to do anything to make it happen and it was all his fault. Mark's. I started to squeeze my fist. I really wanted to punch him right now and I swear after I can leave from this place, then I will find him. 

''I can be here only for today... I'm sorry honey but I have very important things to do in China. I can come back whenever you need me.'' My mother said and it wasn't a surprise. She's always like that. Coming and going. It still was nice to have her here. 

During the time she spent with me, we talked about school, going to a trip to Europe next holiday and stuff like that. What we usually don't talk about. It was weird to talk like this, but it gave a new side of her. That mother-ish side. 

It was so late already and my mother decided to stay the night with me. She had a night flight to China, but she wanted to see me having a good rest. She settled down to the sofa in the room and took a blanket and her laptop. 

''I will do some important things now but I will sleep soon, so sleep first dear.'' She said while she took her glasses and put them on. 

''Okay, good night... mom.'' I said. I usually never say 'I love you', to my mom, but now I felt like saying it, even though I didn't. 

''Good night dear.'' She said and then she put her eyes on the laptop and started to write something with interest. 

She will be gone before I wake up, but I appreciated the time we had, even it was only a half a day. I closed my eyes with the smile on my face. I didn't think about my shoulder, future, or not even Mark, because I felt good. Just for now. 

\- 

I woke up and got up fast. I breathed heavily and closed my eyes. My mind did it again. I had the same nightmare as I did the night before when Mark came to this town. I wasn't pleased at all to see him again, even though it was just a dream. 

I opened my eyes and laid my eyesight at the clock on the wall. It was almost 5pm. I guess Jaebum and Yugyeom have already left the school. Are they coming to see me even what happened yesterday? 

I opened the television and saw a paper on my bed. It was a letter and I guess it's from my mother. 

'Hey honey! I think when you are reading this, I'm already going to be on a plane, so don't worry about me. I rested a bit before I left. So you have to take care of yourself while I'm not there. Oh and before I left, I saw your friends waiting for you but I talked to them, so you don't have to worry about them anymore. I also called two security guards to stay with you. Just in case. Take care Jackson. - Love Mom' 

I smiled at the letter, because she's new about writing these to me, but something got my mind. What did she mean about that I didn't have to worry about my friends, and what did they even talk about? Well, I bet she just talked to Jaebum about taking care of me. 

Soon I heard a knock on my door. It was Jaebum. He waved a hello to me and entered the room alone, finally! Now we can have a proper chat about Mark. He walked to the chair which was near me and then he sat down. 

''How are you feeling?'' He asked me. After that question, my mind filled with awful thoughts. I almost forgot that why I was in the hospital, but it came all back. Fast as a lighting. 

''I-...I don't know...'' I said while mumbling. Jaebum knows how I feel, yet he still asks. I felt how my heart pumped on my chest. I tried to concentrate on my heartbeat so I wouldn't cry. 

''Jacks... I know this is really unfortunate thing to happen and stuff, but you shouldn't blame it all on Mark. It wasn't his fault.'' Jaebum said with a weird tone on. He sounded like an adult. 

''It's all his fault to push me to the wall and having a race with me. And why are you even defending him? You should be my best friend, you should be on my side, not his.'' I said to him, while I couldn't believe that he really cares more about Mark than me. 

''I won't choose sides, but this is really ridiculous even from you. I have always stayed by your side no matter what. You always bullied people from our school even they were innocent and then you bossed me around not to do this and to do that.'' He said. I wasn't believing my ears. 

''What? I just wanted us to be the popular guys of our school and I wanted you guys to have a great school years. I just wanted to help you. And besides, you knew him less than a week, how is he going before me?'' I said back at him. I was wondering where was this conversation going, and how it would end. 

''You didn't do it for us, you did it for yourself. We didn't want to be the bullies of our school. But now, you won't boss me around anymore. I like Mark, even it has been less than a week, and if you won't approve me being with him, then II think that our friendship is done.'' He said. His words struck straight to my heart. Is this how he really feels about me? 

''I don't fucking care if you are my friend or not, just go be with your new bestie. What was his name again? Loser?'' I said while laughing. Jaebum looked at me, but he didn’t say anything. 

''Didn't you hear me? Get the fuck out!'' I shouted at him and pointed my finger towards the door. Jaebum gasped and stood up. 

''What have you become Jackson? Nobody likes you after this. I bet Mark's going to be the new you, without your shitty attitude. The better Jackson.'' He said and he started walking to the door. 

''Nobody is better than me! And don't you dare to show your face in here anymore!'' I shouted at him. 

”Don’t worry I won’t.” He said while slamming the door. 

After he left, I felt alone. Was this it? Did Mark cause this? He did, right? It was all his little plan to crawl into my life and first, steal my friends and then my title. Like my nightmare predicted. Am I all alone now? 

\- 

Mark 

\- 

This past week was so quiet and calm in school. After Jackson had to stay in the hospital, he decided not to let anyone come to see him, not even Yugyeom or Jaebum. It was so odd, but after I heard from Jaebum that they had a fight, I understood, but Jaebum is his best friend. Jackson should let him come to see him. 

Since Jaebum and Jackson had the fight, Jaebum have been all over me. It’s not annoying or anything but I think he misses Jackson. They need each other, and I kind of start to think that Jaebum is trying to replace Jackson with me. 

It was a Friday morning and I was arriving school with a bus. Today was the day when Jackson leaves the hospital. These past days, when Jackson wasn't in school I thought about him, a lot. And now, I was thinking about him too... Is he going to come to school today? 

When I stepped out from the bus, I saw JR on the school yard. I ran towards him who was surrounded by his friends. I jumped on to his back and then I hugged him gently. 

”Hey JR!” I shouted and got off from his back. 

”Hey Mark!” He recognized me by my voice and he sounded pretty happy. 

"What's going on? Why are you so happy?” I asked him while he smirked at me. 

"Hey Mark!” Jaebum shouted and suddenly came next to me. He looked happy too. What was going on? 

”You have been chosen to be our team’s new captain!” JR shouted and gave me a hug. 

”Congrats!” Jaebum said while he looked at JR to stop, so he could hug me too. 

”What?” I asked. I couldn’t believe this. I was so happy at the moment, but then I thought about Jackson and I was kind of sad. Was I chosen to be captain because of Jackson’s injury? I wonder how he’s going to react when he hears the news. 

”Yes, that’s true! I’m so happy for you! It’s so hard to become one so you totally had some skills!” Jaebum said while smiling brightly. Was Jaebum happy only because Jackson lost his place or was it for me really coming a captain. 

”Thanks, I don’t know what to say...” I mumbled. I’m not a bad person who could be happy about this. Bad people wish bad things to happen on other people. Just like Jackson do. Even though I hate him, I still worry about him. Where is he anyway? 

Bell rang. It was time to go to our classes. We have football as our next subject, so we had to go through the school to go to the field outside. 

We were walking on the hallway, when behind us, someone shouted ”Hey!”. The voice was angry and loud, and I guess whose voice it was. We turned around and it was Jackson. 

He came to school with his arm plastered and his face pale as snow. I was afraid of if he knows, what's going to happen next? Jackson approached us furiously, but I think, he came directly to see me. 

He walked to me and stopped in front of me. It felt like the time slowed down, and I could see his face clearly. His black hair was on his face and he looked younger with that hairstyle. He never came to school with his hair down like that. 

His dark eyebrows looked angrier because of Jackson's expression. His face was never on a happy mode and I think it was because I caused him to constantly be angry. How his face would look a like with a smile? 

I looked at his eyes, which looked like he was sad at the same time. He took a grip from my shirt and then he punched my face. I didn't feel the pain, and then he did it again. Jaebum ripped Jackson off me and JR got me before I fell down on the floor. 

I heard how Jaebum shouted at Jackson and then he punched Jackson's face. He didn't do it only once, but many times. Jackson tried to punch him back, but he barely could, because he was right-handed and it was his right hand which was injured. 

When Jaebum stopped hitting him, Jackson fell on the floor next to me. I looked at Jackson and he did look at me too. His face was red and his nose was bleeding and his eyes were tearing. 

I kind of pitied him. He wanted to have revenge and show me that he hated me. He punched me, but then his best friend stood up for me and punched Jackson. How shitty must that feel? A new guy over a childhood friend. 

A tear fell down from Jackson's eye. Why I cared about his feelings?


	7. Me, myself and I

Jackson 

\- 

I left the hospital faster than I thought I would. I received a message before I left, from my coach saying that I should come to see him and discuss about some important things related to football. My mind didn't rest during the time I was In the hospital and now, I had a bad feeling about this meeting. 

I was a bit ashamed of going to school while looking like this. I didn't show any effort to my looks, or my clothes, I didn't even thought about going home first and then to the meeting. In no time, I was in front of the school. Only thing I cared about now, was that I wouldn't be kicked off from my position. 

I didn't want to be seen, so I walked to the field around the school. I arrived to the field and I saw my coach on the bench where he usually sits. He saw me and pointed with a finger at me to come to him. I walked to him and I sat next to him. 

''Right on time Jackson Wang. How are you feeling?'' The coach asked, while writing something on the paper which was on his lap. 

''Fine I guess... What was the thing you wanted to talk about with me?'' I went straight to the topic, because I couldn't wait to hear what was on his mind. 

''Yes, I was thinking to give your position on this team, to somebody else right now. Because of your injury, you won't be playing on the upcoming semesters.'' He said with a voice of a bad spirit. I understood the decision he made, but I still was sad about it. Wordless Jackson Wang. 

I did but a lot of effort to this one, to my biggest dream of all. I just sat there for sometime, trying to realize the situation. My coach tried to catch my eyesight while I was in a small shock. I did predict this to happen. 

''Your mother called me herself letting me know about your condition during your time in the hospital. She said that the doctors ordered you to not to practice any exercise during the healing process and after you have completely healed, you shouldn't do any hard training.'' The coach said while looking at my hand which was on the white plaster. 

''Jackson, I thank you for your effort towards our football team and you did make it better. It was nice to have you with us, but now I think I should leave your position permanently to someone as talented as you are, and I already did choose one good candidate.'' He said. I think my coach tried to lighten the mood by talking in a higher note. 

''I hope Mark Tuan will be as good as you. Have a good day Wang, and the rest of these school years!'' He said while trying to shake my left hand to the mark of farewell, but only thing I heard was Mark to be the chosen one. I got up from the bench and left without saying anything. 

I felt like I was on fire. My skin was starting to feel hot and sweaty. My mind was a mess and I felt a massive rage inside of me. Only thing I wanted to do now, was to see him. I went to the indoors and tried to seek him. 

Why would they choose Mark? He was only the fastest guy from our team because I got injured, but why wouldn't they choose Jaebum or Yugyeom? They are really good, but why Mark? Why always him? 

After a while, my eyes caught someone with a red hair, and there was only one redhead in this school. I looked to the both sides of him and I saw two tall guys. Why are Jaebum and JR hanging out with Mark? 

''Hey!'' I shouted to them. They all turned around to look at me, while I walked to them. I didn't care about these two, only this one in the middle. So I took a tight grip from his shirt and with the other hand I punched him straight to the face. It felt good. 

I saw how his face was in pain. His pretty face didn't look good with it. Without a doubt I tried to lift my hand and punch another one, but Jaebum took me off from him and took a grip from my shirt with his both hands. 

''What the hell are you doing right now?!'' He shouted at my face, but only thing I did was an insane grin with my face and that wasn't a good call to make. Jaebum didn't like it, and so he punched my face, again and again. 

Jaebum let me go and I fell to the ground. I saw how we had a people around us watching our fight. I bet our school's principal wouldn't like this. While I laid on the ground, I turned my head to see someone next to me. It was Mark, with a matching colored face with his hair's. 

His face did annoy me a lot actually. I didn't know why, but it really irritated me. I looked at his pale flawless skin with a big red circle on the corner of his mouth. He wasn't handsome, but he was pretty, that's why I couldn't beat him. In our school, there was only handsome boys, but not as handsome as me, so a pretty faced guy, was a threat to me. 

I closed my eyes and then I heard a principal's voice coming closer to us. People started to vanish around us to the classrooms, and the principal was scolding us already. I didn't pay attention to him, but after a while, we all sat in the waiting room which lead to the principal's room. 

''I guess someone is going to get kicked off temporarily from the school because of this, and I wish it would be you, Jackson.'' JR said while holding a cold bag on Mark's face. We sat on the opposite chairs. I sat alone on the other side and Mark between JR and Jaebum, at the other. What a pet he was. 

''Shut your ass up, Park Jin-Young.'' I said while waiting the principal to come to the waiting room. Mark tried to make Jin-Young quiet, but he continued. 

''What are you doing in here anymore? Mark is the new you, he took your place as a captain, you are nothing in this school. You are a loser.'' Jin-Young said and it went straight to my heart. I stayed quiet and thought about what he said. Am I really a loser? 

The principal came to the waiting room with an angry face on. It was a familiar face to me, because I used to cause troubles in this school, so it wasn't a new thing to sit in here. The principal said my name and I stood up. He held a door for me and waited me to get inside and then I went to sat down to the guest's chair. 

''Hello Jackson Wang. I'm not pleased to see you here again and because of the same cause.'' He said with a disappointed voice of his and then he sat down to the chair, which was behind of his table. 

''I didn't like to hear that you caused this fight, even if it wasn't a surprise, but this has to end. I have come to this decision, where I must expel you from this school for two months. I hope you can rest your mind and recover from your injury in this two months.'' He said while giving me a paper which I have to give to my mother to sign it. She isn't going to like this. 

I got up from the chair and took the paper. I wasn't in a shock, but I was wordless again. Walking to the door while the principal tried to say something, felt good. I wasn't in the mood to hear a scolding from anyone. My mind was starting to fill with dark thoughts. I walked trough the waiting room and I saw Mark watching me. I actually didn't care, and so with that, I left. 

Nobody knew I was expelled yet, so nobody felt a pity. I think they never would, because nobody cared about me anymore. They liked Mark now. I walked out of the school and started to walk towards my home. I wasn't in the mood of taking the cab. 

While I walked on the streets, I thought about how could I tell my mother about me being expelled from my school for two months? Should I not tell her? After few hours of walking, I arrived my home. It was already dark outside and I sat down to my couch. 

My mind was as empty as the room full of people who cared about me. I couldn't do anything but sit at the couch and look at the darkness in my house, I didn't even put the lights on after I came here. 

I lost my friends, my mother was in China and my father was in the sky. My father passed away when I was 5 years old. I still blame myself for it even though I don't remember about the scenario much. I had no one in my life, so what's the life's purpose anymore? It was only myself. 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My mind repeated the tape of that night about my father. All what I remembered was that I came home from the vacation that me and my mother had, after my mother heard a rumor about my father being gay. 

My mother didn't believe that rumor at first, but then she saw my father kissing with a guy in the bar. My mother went home and packed our stuff and started to load the car. I didn't know what was going on, but all that I saw was my mother crying and being broken. 

My father came home while we still were there, packing our stuff. He tried to talk to my mother about what was going on, but my mother couldn't even look at his face. After a while my father shouted at my mother and then she said to him what she saw. She was tearing a lot because she loved him and all this time, he was gay. 

My father tried to explain the situation, but my mother didn't listen to him. We went to our car and drove off from our yard, leaving our father behind there crying. After weeks, we came back to our house, and started to unpack our stuff from the car. 

I was missing my father, because he still was my father, no matter who he was. My mother loved him still, but he couldn't love him like she did back then. We entered our empty, quiet and dusty house. We saw a box in the middle of the living room's floor and I ran to that box asking from my mother about it. 

Our house didn't smell very good, but we thought that it was because it was empty for a long time. She came next to me and we started to open the box. There was a lot of money and a letter in it. My mother took the letter and started to read it. 

''Dear Wife and my precious only child, Jackson. I'm sorry about what I caused to you both and I wish I will be forgotten after this. I sold all the furniture and gathered our safety boxes to this one box where lays your important things and a memory of us being a happy family. It was hard to wait but I waited you to come back to me, but I guess it was too late. If you are reading this in our house, then I was wrong of you coming back. I'm sorry about doing this, but it's the best for your future, for me to step aside and only be in your hearts. I didn't stand to wait for you to come back, because of the guilt I had. Take care, my dear wife and my lovely son.'' 

My mother started to cry hysterically and then she stood up to go find him. She started to scream loudly after being in the kitchen. I stood up too and ran to the kitchen. I couldn't believe what I saw. There he was, he had a clean suit and a black tie around his neck. There was another tie on his neck, which looked more specific than the other tie. The brown tie was thick and looked like a rope. The rope was long and it was tied to the hook on the roof. 

My mother ran to me and tried to prevent me seeing my father like this. She pushed me from the kitchen and then she fell on her knees in front of me. 

''Don't go to the kitchen anymore, please!'' She cried on my shoulder. She hugged me tightly, but even seeing my mother cry and seeing my father dead in our kitchen, I didn't cry, but now that I think about it, I wanted to cry. I missed him so much and I kind of needed him. 

After that scenario, I didn't remember anything. My mother told me that after she hugged me I fainted and I was taken to the hospital. My mother was so worried about me, but in the end I was okay. The doctors said, that I was in a shock and I couldn't accept the fact that my father was dead. 

My mother took me years to the therapy to get my memory back, and it did come back. It wasn't nice to have that memory back of my father, but after that I hated him. He was so selfish about leaving us hanging to life having almost nothing. We only had the money which was in the box, but my mother used them all to the therapy I had. 

After I got along with the fact about my father, I got separated from my family and from my mother. I hanged out with my friends in the school and I became the bad guy. I did terrible things in the past, like smoked cigarettes and drank a lot. My mother didn't like it, but she couldn't stop me. 

I got up from the couch I sat on. I took the key from the table and got out from my house. One breath of fresh air needed to calm me down a bit. I thought about my father for the first time. I was afraid of if I start to think about him, that I might become like him, not dead, but gay and be left by the loved ones. 

The streets of our suburb were quiet, and I actually liked it. I was walking down the street to nowhere, and then I saw a dark narrow lane, and there was this one boy with a hoodie and he gave something to the other guy in there. The other guy left, and the hoodie boy came to me. I acted like I didn't see him. 

''Hey, you need something?'' He asked me. That boy had a brown hair and in the middle of his head there was a bit of blonde color. I didn't understand what he was talking about, but it cleared up, when he pulled a bag from his pocket. He looked at me while waiting an answer. 

''Anything you have.''


	8. Getting answers

Mark 

\- 

Bell rang and the student's got out from the classroom. It has been a long day in the school and everyone wanted to go home, besides me. I have a massive bruise on my face, and how in the earth am I going to explain it to my parents? My heart didn't want to lie, but should I? I was leaving the school, when Jaebum ran to me. 

”Hey Mark!” He came next to me and started to walk with me. I didn't know where he was going, but his home wasn’t near this way. 

”Hi Jaebum.” I didn’t sound very excited after he came, because I got something else on my mind. I hope it didn't put him on a bad mood. 

”Is everything okay, because you don’t look like it? Is there anything I can do for you?” He asked me worryingly. I was thinking about if I should tell him, because maybe he could help me with it. 

''No, I’m not good. I can’t go to my house, because my parents would freak out about this bruise and I couldn't lie to them. Right now, I don't know how to feel or what to do.'' I said while he seemed to be a bit surprised. 

My life is messed up with drama and unidentified feelings. I used to live in peace and dramaless, and now it’s all gone. I can say that it was more boring than now, but I still miss the feeling of being loved and not hated. 

My mind must be tired of me thinking about Jackson all the time. I just couldn't stop it, am I going to fall for the ice king? He is the worse and still I'm starting to like him. 

''If you want, I can come to your house with you... I could explain the truth or lies if you want me to.'' Jaebum said after he tried to make me look at his eyes. 

Im Jaebum. In a short time, I got to know him well enough to see who he was. A sweet guy, who likes to spend time with people. He was very outgoing and he got along with anybody, because he was always ready to help them. 

Jaebum suggested about going to my house with me, and I think it would be a good idea. Maybe I should think about something else than that stupid Jackson. I agreed to the suggestion and then we started to go to my house. 

While we walked on the streets, Jaebum wanted to get something from the shop. He just ran to the shop, almost saying nothing to me. I waited for Jaebum to come out, but it took him more than I thought. 

I looked around and I saw people walking in pairs. It reminded me of my latest relationship. I was totally in love, but then somehow we got separated. I think bad people came between us, and that's why we broke up. Yes, I do still miss that time with that person, because that person made me find myself. I hope someday I will meet that person again. 

Jaebum was coming back from the store with a bag with him. He tried to hide that thing from me and then he started walking before me. 

''What do you have there?'' I asked him while he looked at the bag in his hands and then turned his head back at me. 

''Do you think that I would go without bringing nothing to your parents?'' He said while smiling. That was so kind of him. 

''Wow... Thanks Jaebum... I appreciate that.'' I said while we started to walk and I had to speed up. He got long legs so it was hard to keep up with him. 

''No problem, it's nice to meet your parents!'' He said and then my mind started to think about Mr. Arrogant. Again. 

''By the way... Today at the principal's waiting room, why was Jackson leaving in such a hurry? He looked so lost back then.'' I said while starting to look miserable. 

I have seen that kind of person before in my life. He was a nice person before, but then he wanted to belong somewhere and then he started to use drugs and alcohol a bit too much. It changed him. That’s what Jackson looked like. 

I waited for the answer, but Jaebum didn't say anything. Was he tired of me talking about Jackson all the time? Soon we arrived to my house and then I opened the door with my key. 

''Hey, I'm home! I brought a friend too.'' I shouted to my parents and I thought that they didn't hear me, but after a while they rushed to downstairs and came to see us to the door. 

”Hey hun- Oh my gosh, what happened to your face?!” My mother said while running to me and holding my face with her hands. My father came closer to me too. 

”I just fell at the football practice. It's all good now.” I said while getting worried about my parents that they would notice that I was lying. 

“You must be more careful, it's not more important than you being well.” My mother said with concern. 

“Who's this handsome boy you brought here?'' My father said while he embarrassed me right away. I saw a little blush on Jaebum’s cheeks. 

''My name is Im Jaebum, nice to meet you.'' Jaebum said with a sweet voice and a cute smile on his face. His eyes got smaller while he was smiling so brightly. 

”Oh no, it’s nice to meet you! Mark’s new friends are always welcome to our house. Thank you for coming.” My father said while giving a nice push on Jaebum's shoulder. 

“Mark, do you need an ice bag for that bruise?” My mother asked while she already seemed to go get one from the kitchen. 

“No need for it, mother.” I shouted after her, but she didn’t listen to me. We walked to the kitchen with Jaebum, while my father was following us. 

We sat down to the table in the kitchen and then Jaebum gave a bag which he bought, to my mother. 

“There is something for you and your husband, mother.” He said. My mother was too overwhelmed and gave a hug to Jaebum. She thanked him and then Jaebum came to sit next to me. 

“So how was the school? Everything good?” My father asked from us. I wasn't in the mood to talk but then Jaebum opened his mouth. 

“Yes, did you know that your son is the new captain of our football team?” He spoiled. My parents are going to be super excited about this. 

“What? Really? Mark, that is fantastic! What happened to the old captain of the team?” My mother asked when she was giving the ice bag for me. Oh shit. How am I going to say this without mentioning Jackson’s bad behavior towards me? 

“Actually the old captain got injured and then Mark got to be the captain. And actually that bruise came because he hit Mark.” He spilled out. How could he say that? He said that he would say what I wanted him to say, but why he didn’t? What the hell?! 

I obviously didn't ask Jaebum to tell the truth to my parents and yet he did. My parents looked like they had a heart attack. 

“But don't worry, he got expelled from the school after it so he can't hurt your son anymore.” Jaebum said. What the actual fuck. First telling the truth about what happened, and then revealing this? Why didn’t he tell me? 

”That’s what he deserved, are you okay Mark? Why didn’t you tell us?” My mother asked me. I didn’t give her an answer because I rather wanted to talk with Jaebum. I stood up and looked at him. 

“Jaebum, a word please?” I asked him to come to talk to me at my room. He nodded and excused himself and came after me. We entered my room and I closed the door. 

“What’s wrong with you!? You told me that you can lie if I wanted you to, but yet you still told them the truth.” I raised my voice at him, but not too much because I didn't want my parents to hear us arguing. 

“I just got pissed off, okay? You always talk about Jackson. Why do you even care about him, he has done nothing good to you, you are allowed to curse him.” He said while becoming angry. It was true, why I wasn’t hating him? 

“Is that why you didn't tell me that he got expelled from the school? How you even knew about it?” I shouted at him. He wasn’t scared but he was mostly confused. 

“Yes that's why, because then you would accuse yourself to be the reason why he got expelled! And it was 100% sure for him to get expelled. All what he did in the past and now this, the principal had to expel him. He doesn't even deserve to be the captain of the football team, because of his actions.” He said while shouting back at me. 

“How can you talk about him like that? He is your best friend, you should be by his side when he is having a hard time. You just left him hanging alone… Were you even his friend after all?” I said. His face got sad and then he sat on my bed. Was that too much from me? 

“I’m a bad person because I left him, but he has always treated me and my friends just like what he did to you. I couldn’t stand him anymore, I just couldn’t.” He said while a tear appeared on his face. 

“I’m sorry, I didn't know…” I said while I sat down to the bed next to him. I put my hand on his shoulder and then he wiped his tear away. 

“It’s hard not to be his friend, but it’s harder to be by his side when he treats people like shit.” He said and then he looked at me and sniffed. 

His eyes were so teary and I just wanted to wipe the tears off. He landed his hand on my hand. He looked at his hands and then at my eyes for a long time. 

I felt something in the air and then I got nervous. It felt like he was coming closer to me, and then I swallowed a bit too loudly. He saw me breathing faster and then he backed off from me and suddenly he got up from the bed. What was he thinking? 

“I think it’s my time to go now. See you at school tomorrow?” He asked me while opening my room's door. 

“Yeah, you want me to take you to downstairs?” I asked him gently, but he insisted. He waved at me and then he closed the door. 

I fell on my bed. Well this was exactly what I planned. Was he trying to kiss me? Does he like me? I may be crazy, but that's what it felt like. I thought about Jaebum and after some time, I received a message on my phone. 

“Sorry that I left like this. I will try to meet up with Jackson, just for you.” The message said. It was from Jaebum. The message was short, but it stayed on my mind. I hope that they can talk properly and be friends again. 

\- 

Jin-young 

\- 

''Park Jin-young!'' A voice calling me from downstairs, waked me up. 

''Yes, mother?'' I shouted back, but I didn't hear an answer. I shouted again, but then I gave up. It was a breakfast time so I got up from my bed and went downstairs to the kitchen. 

I lived with my parents in a big and modern house. My mother was a housewife while my father was working with his company. I was from a rich family and so, I barely saw my father at home. I was used to it at very young age, even if I shouldn't. 

When I arrived to the kitchen, I saw that my mother did a lot of food, including small side dishes. There were perks of my mom staying at home, I got to enjoy her breakfasts every morning. 

''Wow, thanks mom, I will surely eat well!'' I said and I gave a big kiss on her cheek. 

''Eat well my son, you have to gain strength to school.'' She said while smiling brightly. 

I went to the table and the smell from the food was wonderful. I loved my mom's cooking but more than that I loved my mother. She has always been there for me and always will. I sat down to the chair and took a spoon and the chopsticks. I started to eat and oh god, it was delicious. 

After eating and talking with my mother, I glanced at the clock on my wrist. I was going to be late, but I wanted to eat as much as I could, because it made my mother happy, so I didn't mind being late from the school. 

After another plate I ate, I was so full that I might explode anytime soon. I swallowed the last spoon full of rice and then I gasped. I was so happy when my mother's face was like a sun in the sky. After I stood up, I thanked her. 

''I'm so full! Now I got to hurry, or I will be late. Thank you mom, I love you!'' I said while I gave her a hug. I took the bag from the table. It was full of food, made by my mother for lunch. I wouldn't change this happiness of hers, when she cooks for me and she sees me eating her food. 

Running to the door, I waved at her. I was already waiting to got to eat my lunch. I got outside of my house and I started to run to the bus stop. I was really full and I could feel how the food inside of my stomach was moving. 

My bus came, and I was on time. I wouldn't be so late from school after all. After I sat to the chair, I started to search for my phone. I took it from my pocket and started to write a text to Mark. I had weird feelings for this guy. Every time I saw him, I got some tickling feeling in my stomach. 

The bus stopped at the stop, and I saw Mark getting to my bus. I put my phone aside, because now I wouldn't need to send a message to him. I waved at him when he looked at me, and his face did brighten up a little. My stomach was tickling again, and this surely was not the food. 

''Hey Markie, I was just intended to send you a message.'' I said to him and he sat down next to me. 

''Hey! Yeah, I woke up too late to walk, so I took the bus.'' He said. I stared at his bruise on his face, because it looked worse than yesterday. I touched his bruise and he made a weird voice. 

''Did it hurt that much?'' I asked him and he nodded for an answer. His face was looking a little miserable. I left my hand on his cheek and started to wipe my thumb on it. I saw Mark getting flustered so I took my hand off. 

''Yah, your cheeks got red as a tomato, do you like me or what?'' I said while teasing him. I think my feelings were getting stronger and they weren't one-sided, I hoped. 

''N-No... What do you mean? I didn't get blushed, didn't I?'' He asked while his voice got a bit shivery. I made my casual grin and then I patted his shoulder. 

''I'm just teasing you.'' I said and I moved my eyes to see the front of the bus. He kept his hand on his cheeks while trying to cover the blush on them. After a small silence, he asked me something. 

''Jin-young... right?'' He asked me. I almost forgot, that Jackson spilled my name yesterday and now, I had to explain to Mark, why he knew it. I nodded and he was already starting to ask something else. 

''How does Jackson know your real name? Were you close to each other?'' He asked me while looking innocent. He was so cute when he was curious about something. 

''Yeah, we used to be. I was one of his best friends back then... When Jackson's father passed away, Jackson lost his memory. I was his friend trough all that, and when he got his memory back, he changed. Jackson started to hate his father, because he was gay, but I didn't know why.'' I said, while Mark cut me off. 

''His father was gay?'' He asked me and I nodded. 

''Yes. After getting caught kissing with a guy, by his wife, he killed himself.'' I said and Mark looked relieved while he started to get answers for his questions. I knew he wanted to know more, so I continued. 

''So his hatred for his father got so huge, that he was starting to hang out in a bad circles, and we got separated. After a while, I met him and I tried to make him erase the hate towards his father, he accused me being gay, because I just wanted him to love his father again.'' I finished with that and Mark took my hand. 

''Being gay is okay.'' He tried to comfort me. I didn’t need the comfort anymore because I was already past that, but it was nice to see how Mark wanted to make me feel good. Did Mark think that I was gay? Was I? 

''Now I understand why Jackson hated me so much. Even thought I didn't confess that I was gay, he just made me gay, so he could hate me.'' He said and then he looked to his other hand which was in his own lap. 

''Then are you?'' I asked him. I was afraid of asking him this, and I thought he wouldn't answer, but he did. 

''Yes.''


	9. Hard to forget

Jaebum 

\- 

After closing Mark’s front door, I gasped. My heart was beating fast and I got problems breathing properly. I leaned on the door while trying to take a heavy breather. I put my hand on my chest and I felt this massive pulsing from my heart, this was new for me to feel like this. Flowing warmth inside of me, was kind of nice. 

I almost kissed him, what was I thinking? I hit myself on the top of my head. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I looked to the sky and I thought about him. I surely had feelings for him even it was early to do so. Why wasn’t Mark trying to avoid that kiss? 

In the past, I have been with girls and with one boy too. Actually it was a mistake being with that boy, but I liked it, since then I have questioned my sexuality. After Mark came to our school, I had a little crush on him. When we became friends, I have wanted to get to know him more and more. 

I took my phone from my pocket and I dialed Jackson’s number. I think he is still mad at me, but I will try to makeup with him, just for Mark’s sake. That's what Mark wanted me to do. I do miss Jackson, and I couldn't wish for bad things to happen to him, but I hope he will learn that he's not immune to the karma. 

I called him and I started to walk away from Mark’s yard. Waiting him to answer, I heard that the call went to voice mail. It was actually a good thing that he didn't answer, because I didn't know what to say to him at the moment. 

I canceled the call and then, I decided to go look for him. It was better to talk face to face, than on the phone and now, I got some more time to think about what to say. I took a cab and started heading to his place. During the way there, I tried to call him again. 

I arrived near his house and I got up from the cab. I walked to his yard and I looked at his windows and noticed that there weren’t any lights on. Was he staying at somewhere else? I still didn't know what to say to him, but it wasn't important now. That what was, was to find him. 

Taking my phone again, I texted Yugyeom. I asked if he was with Jackson, but he answered immediately that he wasn’t with him. I didn't want to make someone worried, but I was myself getting headache because of him. Why he couldn't just inform us that he's alive, if he even was? 

I looked around and I didn’t see anyone. I was unable to contact him. Repeating the circle of me trying to call him and him not to answer. I tried to get in touch with calls and I even tried to come by his house. I didn’t have any common friends with him, and neither did Yugyeom. How could we know where he was? 

\- 

Mark 

\- 

It’s been one week since we heard about Jackson. Nobody has contacted him or seen him. We were thinking with Jaebum that we would call Jackson's mother about him, but it would be the last choice. We didn't want her mother to come to Korea to look for him or get distracted from her work if we told her about what was going on. Maybe Jackson is all good, maybe he's just still mad to us... Or mad at me. 

We planned with Jaebum that we would try to stay in front of Jackson’s house with Yugyeom and see if he would go in or go out. It’s called stalking, but we have to know that he’s okay. 

I was already outside of my house going to meet Jaebum and Yugyeom at Jackson’s house. Jackson really knew how to get people worried about him. Is it all planned like this, just to get his friends back? 

I walked the way to his house and I saw Jaebum and Yugyeom in the car. Whose car was it? Jaebum got out of the car and waved his hand to me. I went to the car and got in. 

”Hey... Whose car is this?” I asked from them as soon as I sat down to the car’s leather seats in the back. 

"It's my father’s. I took it with permission of course.” Yugyeom said at driver’s seat, while he tried to look for any sign of movement in the house. 

”Oh, okay. Have you guys seen him or heard about him?” I asked, but they shook their heads saying no. 

”We even tried to ring the doorbell and knock on the windows.” Jaebum said with a worried tone on his voice. 

I remember that day when Jackson disappeared. Jaebum called me that he couldn’t get a hold on Jackson. I wasn’t worried then, but now, even Jaebum’s concern have got bigger. 

"What should we do?” I asked them but they didn’t say anything. We are running out of options… I just wish that he’s okay. 

We waited for 4 hours in the car and nothing. I was getting hungrier and restless. Anxiety was flowing inside of me. My stomach made this sound of needing food. 

“Mark, I can’t watch you struggling with your stomach. Get something to eat from the city. We will wait here.” Jaebum said while looking at me. 

I nodded and got up from the car. I slammed the door and started walking to the city. Should I get something to eat for them too? 

That 4 hours we spent in the car, we didn't say anything. I didn’t know how to break the silence, so I didn’t open my mouth. It was kind of boring and awful to sit there thinking about Jackson’s well being and not to do anything more useful than sit in the car waiting. 

I took my phone on my hands and unlocked it. I remembered how Jin-young told me that he was close to Jackson, so I searched for Jin-young’s number and started texting him. Maybe he could help us out. 

I sent a text to him, saying that if we could meet up today. I put my phone back to my pocket and then I felt a small vibrate from my phone. He never took much time to answer. I took my phone again on my hands and I read the text message. 

“I can’t today, what about tomorrow, pretty boy? :)” Jin-young’s message read. Pretty boy? I blushed a little and then I answered him. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. Pretty boy?” I asked and then I waited. It only took less than one minute for him to answer. 

''Is it better than Markie? I can use Markie if you want...'' He said in his text. Was he teasing me? He used weird tone on his texts, I don't know if it's, what I think it is. I was arriving to the shop, so I sent a quick text to him. 

''I prefer Markie. See you tomorrow!'' I sent it and I didn't hear an answer from him. I step in to the grocery shop and I bought some food and came out. 

I was walking the streets towards Jackson's house, and I saw a familiar looking guy in black clothes, coming from the smaller street. Getting this weird feeling in me, I didn't seem to recognize him at first, but then it all cleared up. It was Bambam. I ran to him and touched him to his shoulder. 

''Bam! What are you doing in here?'' I said while I turned him around and smiled at him. He turned around, looking a little frightened. He still had this brown and blonde mixed hairstyle, it was weird, but it fit him. His face looked surprised and precisely careful of something. 

''Heyy Mark!'' He said while looking around us. This is what he has become after getting messed up with wrong circles, being careful at all times. 

''Well? Aren't you answering? Do you live here or are you just passing by?'' I asked, but he seemed to be anxious. 

''Yeah yeah, I live in here nowadays. Look, I can't talk right now because I'm busy. Let's bump into each other sometime, see ya!'' And with that, he left. 

There he was, my ex boyfriend, being as he was before we broke up. He became to be this new person, who was strange and secretive. It was too much for me to handle, so it was one of the reasons for us to break up. We were together almost 2 years but half of it, was like this. Him to behave badly. 

I loved him and I thought that he loved me too, but I guess he didn't. Seeing him got me feel nostalgic, because I still cared about him, but not like I did before. It was so odd to see him in here. In such a short time, very strange things have happened around me. 

I moved my foot to the front of the other and started walking. I peeked back to see if Bambam was still there and he was, but far away. He walked quickly compared to his height, even he has grown up since I last saw him. 

In just seconds, I felt something on my chest. Something hard as rock hit me on the front, and I got frightened a little, but then I saw that it was someone. He was wearing black clothes like Bambam and came exactly from where Bam came. 

''I'm sorry, I didn't see you coming from there.'' I said while speaking formally, because I couldn't see his face yet. He turned his head to me and I was in shock. His hair was blonde and his eyes looked distant.   
It looked like he didn't see me, and he just continued marching. Cause of confusion, I couldn't move or talk. He looked different. I shook my head and swiped my eyes to see if it was really him. 

''Jackson!'' I shouted at him, but he didn't hear me. I was in a shock to the extent, that he was able to almost disappear from my eyesight. Almost hesitating to not to go, but I still started running towards him and I saw him turning to the street on his right. I ran there but after I arrived, he was gone. 

Something was going on. I predicted this at the day he disappeared. He is strange and he even dyed his hair to blonde in just a week. Why was he suddenly changing his looks? 

I was too late, why didn't I ran faster? When I ran, it felt like I ran a marathon and I couldn't breathe well. I'm so confused right now, but at least he was alive. I took a long breather and I thought about how I saw Bambam. They both were coming from the same way. 

Do they have something in common?


	10. Great escape

Bambam 

\- 

I gave a full bag of LSD to the customer in the street. He took the bag briskly and gave the money from it, to me. After a while, he was long gone, but I knew that he was coming to get more after few days. 

I was viewing my pockets, which were full of different kind of stuff. I was going to get so much money for these, because in this city, there weren’t many people who sell this kind of stuff. 

Personally I liked to change the place to another intervals, so I left from that street. I walked 5 blocks to east, and called to the next customer. I told him that the meeting place changed and then I hung up the call. 

Putting my phone to my pocket, I waited for that person to come. I wasn’t that scared to do this anymore, but it still got a little adrenaline to flow in me. 

Since I got into this, I have been selling stuff for 2 years and I couldn’t think of doing anything else. I get a lot of money from this and it was good, but you still had to be careful. One wrong move and you could get arrested. 

I thought about old times, and then I remembered Mark. He was my boyfriend back then who I loved, and then I got into this business. He didn’t like it, so he left me. 

I was kind of mad at him, because he just left me and I still didn’t know the whole reason for it. It wasn’t big deal what I did, if he loved me back then, then he would have stayed. 

After meeting Mark yesterday, got me thinking of him more than usually. I wonder if he has missed me, because I have missed him. I still liked him, but I was getting over him already. It took a long time for me to move on, but I laid my eyes on someone special just a while ago. 

I have been gay since I was born. My parents didn’t accept it, even though I did everything for them so they would accept it. Obviously it didn’t happen and I moved away from home, only when I was 16 years old. Right before meeting Mark. 

When I met Mark, he was so kind and what I liked about him besides his looks, was that he became gay. His parents accepted him right away as he was, and I was kind of jealous of it. 

After 1 year of dating, I had to make money from somewhere. Somehow, I was asked to help someone who I didn't know. I arrived to the meeting and after hearing what I was supposed to do, I tried to not to do it. They threatened me, that they would hurt someone that was close to me if I didn’t do it, so I had to do it. 

I never told this to Mark, but he still shouldn’t have left me, even if I liked to do it. I didn’t only sell that stuff, I did them too. It’s not allowed in Korea and I know that it’s not good for your health, but it was my escape from everything that happened to me. 

I saw my next customer coming with his black clothes and hood on his head. He dressed a bit too obviously, but he was new, so how could he know. I met this guy one week ago and since then, he has been coming to here every day. 

He came close to me and then he looked around us. I think he was afraid of getting caught, but it was normal for a first-timer. He took his money from his pocket and gave it to me. 

''What would you like to have today, blondie?'' I asked him and then he looked at me. 

''The usual dose.'' He said while looked again to see if this street was safe to be in. 

I was getting his usual dose which was 4 bags of different stuff from my pocket. He was really rich guy to buy every day the same amount, even I didn't do that much of drugs. He was crazy, but with that amount of income, I was getting richer. 

I gave the bags to him and he counted them. That customer was a good looking one. I laid my eyes on him on that street one week after, and I think it was his first time taking these. I felt as a bad guy dragging him to this world. 

''By the way, are you interested in free drugs?'' I asked him and he looked at me. He seemed to be interested, but his eyes got this weird look. 

''Excuse me?'' He asked me with his deep voice, which got me kind of turned on. 

''I would like to have help to sell these, so if you help me, I could give you drugs, as a payment.'' I told him and he seemed to understand. He thought about it for a while, but then his face gave the answer. 

''I'll do it.'' He said and shook a hand with me. His eyes glanced at mine, and I felt good. 

I knew he was going to accept the offer, because he seemed to need drugs desperately. I didn't know if he was in the need of money to get them, but if it includes what he wanted, then he would have done everything I wanted him to do. 

He was perfect candidate to do it, and I wanted to keep him close to me. You never know when he stops to come here, but recording to this answer, he was going to keep doing this. 

''I'll contact you later and let you know about few things. Remember, there's no going back.'' I said and he agreed. He started to walk away from me and then I left too. 

\- 

Mark 

\- 

I felt my phone buzzing next to my hand and it woke me up. While I took my phone to my hand, I saw that Jin-young was calling me. I was so sleepy that I didn't almost know what I did, but I answered the call. 

''Hello?'' I said while closing my eyes and putting my head back on pillow. 

''Mark? Where are you? I'm already ordering coffee for us.'' He said while I suddenly opened my eyes. 

I got up from my bed and I looked at the clock. It was already 1pm and I was totally sleeping over our meeting. 

''Yeah, I'm on my way, I'll be there soon!'' And with that I hung up the call. I punched myself on the cheek as a punishment for being late. I hit a bit too hard and it made me grin. Great. 

I ran to get my clothes and dressed up. After getting my clothes on, I ran to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I was going to be so late, but I couldn't show up like a total beggar. I ran to downstairs where my parents were. 

They asked me to eat, but I told them that I was late from an appointment, so they understood. I ran out of my house, and then I just ran all the way to the city. Usually I didn't want for people to wait for me, so I ran 5 miles to the city without stopping. 

I arrived to the coffee shop and then I entered in. I saw Jin-young sitting in the chair looking extra fine. He even did his hair up and put good clothes on. I was looking horrible compared to him. Covered in sweat, I was approaching him and the same time I tried to wipe the most off from my skin. 

I was near him and he noticed me. I sat to the chair which was opposite from him, and then I looked at his face. He seemed to be little confused to see me sweaty and out of breath. 

''Hey Markie! Did you run?'' He asked me, and I was already feeling like he knew that I was still sleeping when he called me. I shook my head saying no, but then he laughed a bit. 

''Yah, I know you were sleeping when I called you. You didn't have to run to see me, it's not good for your health to run that fast.'' He said with his concerned voice. He looked so good with his hair up and his big lips moisturized. 

Why did I even seemed to be fancy him? I had to concentrate on finding Jackson and see if he's alright, but I couldn't deny that JR looked good in my eyes. 

''Sorry... I was so tired about yesterday, I promise I'll be on time next time.'' I said and I took my jacket off from my back. While I was glancing at him, I really hoped that it didn't smell too much. 

''It's alright, I'm not mad at all. So what you wanted to talk about?'' He said while going straight to the topic. I didn't know if he wanted to talk about his past, but I should think what to say first and then say it carefully. 

''Yes, uhm... You already know that Jackson is missing, but I saw him yesterday. I tried to ran and catch him, but I couldn't reach him so he disappeared again. He even dyed his hair to blonde. I wonder if something is going on because nobody seems to dye his hair to platinum blonde in a short period.'' I said to him and it got him thinking. 

''I think it's normal for someone to dye his hair, so I don't see any emergency in this.'' He said with his low voice. Maybe I should tell him about what I saw before I saw Jackson. 

''Me too, but I saw my ex yesterday. What makes it strange, is that my ex just moved to this town and Jackson happened to come out from where my ex came. Both black hooded and weird.'' I said to Jin-Young. He frowned and then he opened his mouth. 

''I think it was just a pure coincidence.'' He said while seeming not to care about Jackson. I was getting uneasy while trying to explain that this was serious thing to be concerned about. 

''Well, it would be, if my ex wouldn't be a drug dealer.'' I said with bitching tone. I had to say it straight to make Jin-young to understand the seriousness of this scene. Jin-Young looked to get interested in, after hearing that. 

''You dated a drug dealer?'' He asked me. I got blushed, because it came so easily from his mouth to ask that. I didn't know what to say, so I just mumbled the yes. 

He sat in silence until he got up from his chair and took my hand. I looked at him while feeling his warm hand on my hand. 

''Let's go, I'll show you something.'' He said mysteriously. 

I got up from my chair and he dragged me out from the coffee shop. We walked hand in hand the whole way to where Jin-Young wanted to take me. It wasn't embarrassing to me, but isn’t it to him? After walking and saying nothing to each other, we arrived to the park which was near the city. 

''Why we came here?'' I asked him while he let my hand go. I still felt his hand’s warmness in my hand. 

He walked inside to the park and sat down to the swing. He showed me to come sit to the other swing next to him, so I did. I wonder why he dragged me here? 

''This park was our favorite. We used to play here when we were young. Every day when we could, we met here and came to swing and took competitions as who could swing higher and who could jump from the swing farther.'' He said while swinging a little. 

''You and Jackson?'' I asked to be sure. He nodded for an answer and then I swing a little too. 

''This park was the place where we argued about his father too.'' He said after he laid his head on the swing's chain. He looked kind of sad while he was talking about him. Jackson really knew how to break someone's heart, even as a friend’s. 

I got up from my swing and walked in front of him. I knelt down and I saw how his eyes were laid on me. Hesitating a little, I put my hands around him and gave a hug. I know how hard it was when you lose someone who was important to you, just because the have changed. 

While I hugged him, I felt his breath on my neck getting quicker. His hands crawled on my back and he hugged me back tightly. I didn't feel anything weird while I was hugging him, but I was just feeling bad for him. I really started to hate Jackson for what he does to people. 

After taking my hands off from Jin-young, I got up. I looked around us and it was getting a little colder outside. I looked back at him and he got up too. 

"Thank you Mark. For understanding.” He said to me. He really was sentimental guy. Who would have known, that Jackson had friends that were nice. 

''Should we leave?'' I asked him and he nodded. 

We walked away from the park, but every time I see that park again, I will remember it as a park, where Jackson became to be what he is. 

We were in the city again and we were in silence. Neither of us were making any sound than breathing. I didn’t know if it was because of the hug we had in the park, or was it just Jackson that kept us shut. 

I glanced at Jin-young's hand that looked lonely. My heart wanted to grab it, but my mind resisted it. I just wanted to make him feel what Jackson took away. Happiness. 

We were arriving to the place where I saw Jackson yesterday, and it didn’t feel pleasant for me. I glanced at the street to see if he was there, but he wasn’t. 

Jin-young seemed to notice how I looked at the smaller streets for any sign of Jackson or Bambam. After a while, I didn’t pay attention to the streets anymore, because it was useless, they wouldn’t get caught again. 

”Isn’t that Jackson?” Jin-young suddenly said and it got me looking around asking where. 

He pointed out two dark clothed persons on the smaller street, near the place I saw them yesterday. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Jackson was leaving from the other person, and then I shouted. 

”Jackson!” The sound of my voice was shivery, and it didn’t sound very manly. 

He lifted his head and then he saw us. He stopped for a second and put his hood to cover his face. I started to run at him, because I knew he was going to get away again. 

As I predicted, he sprinted away from us, and I saw that Jin-young started to run too. Jackson ran fast, even faster than I did. I guess he wasn’t the captain out of reason. He happened to turn to the street on his left and after we got there, he was gone again. 

“Should we split up? I’ll call you if I find him.” I said to Jin-young, and he agreed. 

And then we ran to different ways to find him.


	11. Some kind of drug

Mark 

\- 

After we sprinted away from each other, I didn't know where to run and my mind didn't think properly. I just ran and hoped for the best. 

While I ran, I tried to think about which way would be the one, where Jackson went. My throat was itching and my lungs were exhausted. I stopped for a second and tried to take a long breather. 

I was getting frustrated and angry. Why would he play a game like this? I knew he was a player, but not like this. This shit was childish. 

My mind didn't work well, but I got a flashback from that park. Could he be there? I started to ran to it's way, but then I thought that it should be Jin-young who should go there, because if Jackson would be there, they can talk. I took my phone and dialed Jin-young. 

''Hey, did you find him?'' I asked him, after I heard him answering my call. 

''Not yet, you?'' He asked, but I answered no. 

''I think you should go find him from that park where we were earlier. There could be a small chance for him to be there.'' I said and I heard a long silence from the phone. 

''Okay, I'll call you if I find him.'' He said and with that, he ended the call. 

While putting my phone to my pocket, I tried to search for that one person with my eyes. I glanced around, but I couldn't find him. He really liked to play tag. I really didn't like to run after him, but my humanity kicks in, if I won't do anything. 

I put my feet in front of each other alternately to start running. My mind overheated from the feelings towards Jackson. There wasn't any people around, so I shouted hard. I speed up more and my anger was bigger than ever. 

I ran few minutes and I glanced someone in the hoodie. He was heading to the smaller streets, and I was sure it was him. He looked around before going to the street, and when he stepped to there, I ran to catch him. 

I crossed the street, and ran to him. I grabbed him from his shoulders and pushed him to the building. 

''What the fuck Jackson!?'' I shouted at him and it caused him to be startled. 

He tried to walk away from me, but I put a hand to the building preventing him to go. He looked at me with his dark eyes and then he approached me slowly. Suddenly, he pushed me away from him and I hit the opposite building. 

''Leave.'' He said with his deep and rough voice. I was amazed how his voice had deepened more than it was before. I think it was because of drugs. 

He tried to leave again, but then I shouted after him. 

''You are a total piece of shit, I wonder why people still worry about you.'' After I said, he stopped. My heart was racing, because I really didn't want to get more bruises. 

''You play with people, and let them chase you. Are you a girl or something?'' I shouted again. Now he turned around and walked towards me. 

He took a grip from my shirt with his both hands and kept me pushed to the building. I felt his breath on my face and I saw that the anger in his eyes was flaming. 

''Are you my lover, to follow me everywhere? Leave me alone.'' He said and let go from my shirt and then he started to walk away again. 

I ran after him and I turned him around while taking a grip from his shirt. I looked at his eyes while he was saying to let him go. Looking at his stupid face, caused me to punch him on the face. 

I let him to fall down to the ground. His nose was bleeding and he swiped it off. He got up and he couldn’t even look at me. 

''You are a wimp, Jackson. Your friends are worried about you, and you let them think that you are dead. Have some dignity, or you will lose everyone.'' I said to him with loud voice and then I took a breath. 

''Why do you even care?'' He shouted while he was getting angrier. 

''Don't you care about Jaebum anymore? He's dying there from worry.'' I shouted back at him, and his face didn't change a bit after saying Jaebum's name. Is the old Jackson long gone? 

''Why are you bothered about it? Why do you come looking for me, even it's not your job? Why!?'' He shouted at my face. This time he shouted more than he had before. 

Why did I care? How did I even cared about someone like him? He was pure evil and I knew it. I didn't have any reason to come looking for him, and yet I did. Was it because I fancy him? 

He looked at my eyes, and I thought I saw a tear in the corner of his eye. He turned his head to look somewhere else than at me. I was going to open my mouth, but he turned around and then he left. I didn't even bothered to shout after him. 

He had hid choice to come back, but I guess he likes his new lifestyle more than the old one. I was disappointed in myself, because I couldn't get him to change his mind. I'm a failure. 

\- 

Jackson 

\- 

Anger ran in my veins. Why did he found me, from all the people, why did he? I almost wished more for my mother to come than him. I really hated this guy more day by day. 

Today I have this appointment with this drug dealer, and I hoped that I could get the first salary already. I was so needing something to release all this. 

After I saw Mark, I was kind of surprised. Why did he really came? I think it wasn’t just for Jaebum, there must be something else. Did that peasant like me? How disgusting. 

My phone was ringing and I answered to the call. The voice was talking and saying to me, that I would meet him in the address, he sends me after the call. 

I agreed and the call ended. After that, I opened maps from my phone. Text message arrived and I copied the address. The place wasn’t far, but it seemed to be a little away from the city. 

Arriving to the coordination, I noticed that it was a big house in the area of rich people. I went to the yard, and noticed that someone was sitting at the deck chair. 

While I approached him, he seemed to hear me coming. I already recognized him from his hair, and he stood up after I was standing in front of him. 

“Come inside.” He said while taking his drink from the table, which was near the chair he was sitting on. 

I walked after him to the house. He lived in a big estate, I wonder if it’s his own. 

”I hope I didn’t interrupt your sunbathe.” I said while entering to the house. 

He was half naked and he didn’t bother to go dress up. He only took a shirt and put it on, unbuttoned. 

His figure was skinny but a bit ripped. He was shorter than I was, but not much. In my opinion, he was young, and still he was a professional at this. 

”So... Today I won’t let you work, but we can celebrate your starting work. Call?” He said while sipping his drink. I guess he already started partying before I came. 

”Okay.” I said and he offered his drink to me. I wasn’t sure what was in it, but I still should do anything to please my boss. 

With one shot I drank it up and he seemed to look entertained. Putting my glass to the table near me, he went to the refrigerator. 

”I’ll call a few friends to join us, you can do too if you want.” He said while taking alcohol to the table. 

“I don’t have friends anymore.” I said while he took me a glass from the shelf and poured a drink for me. 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know. Mind if I ask what happened?” He asked me, and I didn’t know if he really cared to hear the reason to it. 

“Long story short, they left me.” I said while taking the glass and pouring the liquid to my mouth. 

“Wow, you really are devastated.” He said and then he poured more to my glass. I shrug my shoulders and looked at the glass. 

Time passed as more people came to party. I really wasn't in a mood for it. I rather liked to be alone in the darkness, in drugs. Being sober around all this, was impossible. Drugs were my way, to stay away from the reality. Drugs were my only friend. 

The music was loud and it gave me a headache, or was it my drunkenness? Sitting alone at the sofa around the people who were dancing, I drank my cup and I hurried to upstairs. I didn't know where my new boss was, but I wanted to find a place to be alone in. 

For not even knowing his name, I really would do anything just to get drugs easier. Was it good choice to do this? While talking to myself in my head, I found a room which looked just right to be in. I opened the door and it was empty. 

I walked in and looked around. After seeing picture frames on the shelf near the door, I knew whose room it was. I went closer and started eyeing them. 

''He really doesn't look like he grew up.'' I talked to myself and then I heard a voice behind me. 

''Really? Do I look that young?'' He said and came from the other room which leaded to the room I was. 

I turned around and looked at him. Of course he had to be somewhere near to hear that. He walked towards me, with some smaller bags in his hands. I got curious right away. 

''What you have there?'' I said while I leaned on the same shelf where those pictures were. 

''Some new stuff from the delivery guy. You want to try it?'' He asked while he sat down to his bed which was neatly made up. 

I looked at him, but I wasn't so sure what to say. Did I really want to work with him? Like he said before, I couldn't go back anymore. 

''You have to try it and give me an opinion from it, because I will sell it tomorrow to the customers if it's good.'' He said while putting some on the table towards the bed, and waiting for me to answer. 

I already signed up for this, and I didn't have anything to lose anymore. I walked to the bed next to him and sat down. 

''Before you take it, can I know your name?'' He asked politely, and looked at me with his interested face. 

''Jackson. Jackson Wang.'' I said, and he nodded. 

''My name is Kunpimook, but you can call me Bambam. Once, my old friend made it for me, because, as you can see, my name is not the easiest.'' He told me. I knew that he wasn't 100% Korean, but I didn't know that a drug dealer can be this kind. 

''Nice to meet you, Bam.'' I said and smiled. 

I was happy to meet someone who knew what I was going trough, and he would support and help me with it. This wasn't really supporting, rather doing it with me. He let me be the first to try it. 

I went closer to the table and then I took a bill from it. I rolled it to the shape of straw, and then I put it in my nose. Leaning to the table, I sniffed the stuff from the table. It went through the bill to my nose, and it felt good. 

For a moment, I was still. I was waiting for it to get in my brain, and letting it become my stress relief. I opened my eyes and I saw Bambam looking at me. 

''So? Did it affect already?'' He asked me, but I shook my head for an answer. 

I didn't feel it yet, but I knew it was soon to be all messed up. He stood up, and walked to the minibar and opened it. I didn't even see that he has one in his room, but why he wouldn’t? He was rich, he could buy anything he wanted to. 

He took a booze bottle from the minibar, and took two glasses from the top of it. Soon he sat down and gave me a glass, full of booze. 

''To the new friendship.'' He raised the glass, and I did too. We poured them down the hatch, and smashed those glasses to the table. 

After that shot of booze, I started to feel the drug and alcohol mixing up and getting to my brain. After some drinking and chatting with Bambam, I really started to go wild. 

''Wow, this is really effective... It feels like I'm flying. This is actually the best of those that I have tried.'' I said with my drunken voice while I laid down to the bed. 

''I know, it's really strong stuff.'' He said while he laid down next to me. 

He did take some of it too after me. I didn't know if he wanted me to test it first, to be sure not to die to it himself, but I think I had to do it to be passed in to work with him. 

The music from downstairs got into my ears, and it felt like it was playing next to my ear. The room's lights were atmospheric and I got a weird feeling inside of me. 

I was laying next to Bambam, who was in drugs too. It felt good to just lay there next to him, because nobody was interfering us, and it was dark and quiet, besides the music. But even that didn't get on my nerve now. 

''I hope you feel better now, after all what have happened to you.'' He said while he turned his head at me. 

I turned my head at him and looked at his eyes which were covered with his blonde and brown hair. His eyes were dark brown, and really weird shaped. Was it because he was from Thailand? I turned my body at him and opened my mouth. 

''Thank you, you really saved me.'' I said slowly while looking at him. 

I really didn't know what was happening, because I was so fucked up, but soon I noticed that our lips were connected. 

And I liked it.


End file.
